“Technically speaking, it would be manslaughter, not murder.”
“Thanks, you’ve got the job as my lawyer when I stand trial.”
Bianca gave a half smile, then poked me in the face. “But you’re not going to stand trial, dumbo, because you didn’t kill anyone.Pride and Prejudicestill exists, which means the story didn’t fall apart. In fact, Nick and Maggie are probably living their best Regency lives in it right now, which is why you need to start living your life out here too.”
I glanced at the book on the bedside table. Bianca was right about one thing: I’d lived in terror that the story was going to disappear before my eyes, but my stolen copy ofPride and Prejudice—and the ones I’d obsessively checked on the Waterstones website every day—still existed. Which meant that whatever weirdness my being in the book had caused, it seemed that the plot had righted itself once I left.
“I should have tried harder to get them out,” I said weakly. “I should have written a more realistic description of the shop or had a stronger image of Nick and Maggie in my mind. If only I’d—”
“You did everything you could,” Bianca interrupted. “You’re not an expert in this book magic, so it’s frankly remarkable you managed to get yourself out in one piece. Speaking of which…” She trailed off.
“What is it? You’ve got that face again.”
“You’re not going to want to hear this, but Mrs. Atallah and I have been talking and—”
“If this is about Bilal, then the answer is no.”
“What’s wrong with my Bilal?” Mrs. Atallah said from the corner of the room, where she’d sat down with a book. “He’s a very eligible young man, earns a good wage, drives a—”
“This isn’t about Bilal,” Bianca said. “We’re worried that you might accidentally read yourself back into the story. You barely know what you’re doing, and given how miserable you are, I’m genuinely terrified that you might lose concentration or make a silly mistake and get yourself stuck in the book again.”
“You’re not suggesting I stop trying, are you?” I said sharply. “Because there’s no way I’m giving up. Maggie has spent eight years trapped in that book; she deserves to come back to the bookshop and the life she loves. And Nick…” My voice cracked saying his name, and I swallowed. “Nick didn’t abandon me when I read myself intoPride and Prejudice, and I’m not going to abandon him either.”
“But what if you can’t read them out?” Bianca said, voicing the words that the Fear had repeated to me time and again since I arrived back here. “They’re real people, not fictional characters, so maybe this book magic you have won’t work on them?”
“But I’m a real person and I got myself out, so I should be able to get them out too.”
“But what if—”
“No, I don’t want to hear it!” I shouted. “Nick told me that the bookmagic only works when someone has a problem they really need help with. Well, I have a pretty huge problem I need help with. I’ve met this perfect man: someone who is sexy and funny and thoughtful, someone who sees me exactly as I am, flaws and all, and fought for me even when it seemed impossible. And now this man, who I realize I’m in deep fucking love with, is trapped in a book, and any chance I had of a future with him is gone. So if I ever want to be happy again, I need Nick—not stuck in a book, but out here with me. And I just have to focus on that when I’m reading, and sooner or later, the magic will work.”
“Habibti, there’s a difference between loving someone and needing them,” Mrs. Atallah said, looking up from her book. “I loved Charbel with every fiber in my body; for forty years he was my companion, my soulmate, my lover. But that doesn’t mean Ineededhim like I needed air to breathe or food and water to stay alive. What you feel for Nick is intense, maybe once-in-a-lifetime love, and I know you want him here very much, but you don’tneedhim to be happy or complete. The heart is a powerful muscle, and as long as you give it oxygen, food, and water, it will continue to beat, even when it’s broken.”
She stared at me for a moment longer, her gaze piercing; then she shrugged and returned her attention to the book. I glanced back at Bianca, who was looking slightly shell-shocked after Mrs. Atallah’s speech.
“I won’t stop trying to get them out, B. Even if my book magic never works again, I can’t give up trying,” I said, and I saw B’s face fall. She opened her mouth to reply, but I continued. “You’re right about one thing, though: I can’t hide in here forever. I made Maggie a promise that I’d get out there and live my life, and I owe her that at least.”
“Thank you,” Bianca said, and I saw her blinking away tears as she smiled at me.
I climbed out of bed and crossed to the window, squinting as I pulled up the blind and sunlight streamed into the room.
B came to stand next to me. “I reckon this might be our last warm weekend of the year. How do you fancy a swim in the Ponds this afternoon?”
I nodded, even though the thought of being parted fromPride and Prejudiceterrified me. “Sure, that would be nice. Mrs. Atallah, do you want to join us?”
The older women didn’t answer, and when I looked over my shoulder, I saw she was engrossed in the book again.
“What are you reading?”
She held up the cover, and I saw it wasFourth Wing. “I found this on your shelf the other day. It’s very good, very steamy. In fact, why don’t you read this Xaden character out for me?”
“Bloody hell!” Bianca said, planting her face in her hands. “The last thing we need is Zoe getting stuck in Navarre! You know what she’s like; she’d be killed by dragons within five seconds.”
“Shame,” Mrs. Atallah sighed. “Charbel was a wonderful man, God rest his soul, but I wouldn’t mind getting my hands on this Mr. Riorson for an hour or two. The thing he does to Violet in chapter thirty, when he—”
“Mrs. Atallah, stop!” Bianca screeched.
My landlady threw her head back and guffawed, and it was such a wonderful sound that, despite everything, I started laughing too. Soon, all three of us were cackling, tears streaming down our faces. And by God, it felt good.