Logan.
Why can’t I have one nice day without feeling like I’m being pulled in two? Why didn’t the guy take the hint when I blocked him on social media, or even when I kicked him out of the house when he came to visit when Sloane and Elias were gone?
And, what’s even more pathetic, why do I want to see his face again? You’d think I’d have enough with Reese, that I could easily ignore any residual feelings I might have for the jerk, but I can’t. It’s like Logan has a permanent place in my heart.
Seriously, so freaking pathetic.
When I see it’s his name on my screen, I don’t open the message right away. I can’t. I can barely stomach the food I made, having lost my appetite just like that. It’s a good thirty or so minutes before I wander to the living room, plop myself down on the couch, and open up the message.
Can we please talk?
My first instinct is to respond with a big, fatNO. But I don’t send it. I delete the all-caps response and type something out that sounds way more normal:I don’t think we have anything left to talk about.Even as I type it out, it hurts my heart to put it into words.
What is wrong with me? Why does he still make me feel like this?
He must be waiting near his phone, because he replies instantly,Wren, I’m begging you. Let’s meet. I need to see you.
Logan doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who ever begs anyone for anything, which is why it surprises me so much to read that particular message. I’m not saying I can imagine the guy on his knees for me, but it is a nice thought.
I don’t respond to him. I can’t. I sit there on the couch and stare at the blank TV on the opposite wall. I could grab the remote and put something on, but it’d just be background noise. Not really in the mood to actually sit down and watch something. The mere thought of Logan does this to me.
He texts me again, saying,Are you home? I’m coming over. Your roomie can kill me later.
When I read that last part, my brows furrow. Not sure what exactly he means by that, but I could totally see Sloane kicking his butt for me. She knows how much he messed me up last semester, and it’s obvious he wanted to steer clear of her.
It’s as if she sensed she was being spoken about, or texted about, because right then Sloane comes down the stairs and goes into the kitchen, grabbing something from the refrigerator. She spots me in the living room and comes to join me, sitting beside me as she opens up her water.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, then takes a long swig. “You look like you saw a ghost or something.”
Or somethingis right. My good mood from last night has officially crashed thanks to Logan, though that should come as no surprise to anyone. “Logan messaged me,” I mutter with a frown, and just like that Sloane gets prickly, ready to defend me from someone who isn’t even here.
Maybe Logan was right that Sloane would try to kill him. The expression she wears when she hears his name spoken aloud is icy, to say the least.
“What the fuck does that asshole want?” she hisses out.
“He wants to see me.”
She grinds her jaw, her hatred for him evident, but that hatred dwindles a bit when she studies me. “Do you want to see him?”
“No.” The word flies out of me fast, but then I find myself adding, “Maybe. I don’t know. I keep telling myself I don’t wantto see him, but… I just don’t know.” I stop myself from saying it’s not his fault I got hit by a car that night; I’m the one who ran out into the road without paying attention. That’s, like, kindergarten-level of paying attention.
But it is his fault he never checked in on me. How can I trust someone like that actually cares about me and isn’t just doing this to make himself feel better?
The sigh that she gives me is legendary. “Kind of sounds like you do.”
“I shouldn’t.”
“Yeah, well, there’s a lot of things I shouldn’t have done and I did them anyway.” Whether she’s referencing her relationship with Elias or other things, I don’t know, and I don’t ask. “It’s no secret I’m not the biggest Logan fan, but… if you feel like you need to see him, then just do it.”
“You won’t kill him?” I say it as a joke, referencing what Logan said in the one text, but the serious look Sloane gives me makes me wonder if somehow it wasn’t a joke at all.
If her last sigh was legendary, this one is its sequel. “If you don’t want me to, no, I won’t, but if you do… the offer is there.”
I laugh a little, because I still think she’s joking and the joke just isn’t landing well, but that chuckle of mine dies down when Sloane only looks at me and blinks.
Wait. Is she being serious? I literally cannot tell.
She certainly can be unnerving when she wants to be, huh?