Sawyer leans on the fence again with a mischievous twinkle to his eyes. ‘Who’s your landlord? Maybe I can rough ’em up a bit, get them to sort it sooner.’
‘With a broken leg? Sure.’ I shoot him a look layered with doubt—that little bit of attitude Sawyer always seems to coax out of me. ‘It’s fine. It’s just gonna be a case of lodging with my mom until everything gets fixed. It’ll be too much to expect Noah to live around it all.’
Silence fills the air as Sawyer just nods, and we both turn back to where Noah is in a fit of giggles on the floor as both Trixie and Kentucky lick him. He’s definitely going straight in the bath when we get home. Ornothome, now. God, I hope this whole apartment situation doesn’t ruin this little high he’s having. Still, we really should go. I’ve asked enough of Sawyer today and we shouldn’t outstay our welcome. I go to push off from the fence—
‘You could stay here,’ Sawyer suddenly declares.
‘What?’ My laugh of disbelief is louder than I expected, and I quickly seal my lips together.
He must not sense my shock, because he motions to the house behind us, then out towards the surrounding land. ‘Here.’
‘You’re joking, right?’
Chestnut eyes seek out mine. ‘No, Blue.’ The use of his old nickname for me doesn’t go unnoticed by my fluttering stomach. ‘I just—how many bedrooms does your mom’s place have?’
‘One,’ I admit quietly, aware of the inconvenience of such. ‘But it’s fine. Noah can share a bed with my mom, he does that when he stays with her anyway. I can sleep on the couch. It’s only a month. I don’t want to keep disrupting his life.’
Sawyer shakes his head, glancing over to Noah. ‘Meanwhile I’ve got a massive empty house with a whole unused top floor because I can only get around downstairs right now. Noah could have his own room. Even got a rolltop bathtub upstairs.’
Man, what I’d do for a hot bath tonight—
No, Honey, you can’t be persuaded by a goddamn bathtub.
He continues, ‘Plenty of land for Noah to run about. Would be nice for someone to make use of it—’
‘Wh—why?’ I plead. Why would he offer something so generous? He doesn’t owe me anything. Really, I owe him a favour now he’s looked after Noah. I probably owe him a lot more after how we left things in senior year …
‘Because.’ He shrugs, ambushing me with a soft expression that finishes his argument:Because of the same reasons you sat in my hospital room late at night after my fall when you didn’t have to come.
Because he’ll always own a piece of my soul.
That’swhy it would be stupid to say yes. Dangerous, even, with our history. Because even if it’s been nine years, that didn’t stop me from remembering all the reasons I cared about him the minute I laid eyes on him again. That same light effervescence coursing through my veins at his presence.
Not that I would ever let anything happen, or even wantanything to happen—Sawyer doesn’t fit into the life I’m building here, and I’ve always known that—but … Seeing Sawyer every day?Livingwith him? After everything that went down all those years ago. We’re tiptoeing over it all right now, pain and regret neither of us really want to revisit.
Surely he doesn’t want that either.
‘Sawyer, I couldn’t ask that of you. Besides, you’d hate it. Usually there’s toys everywhere. It’ll be early dinners and bedtimes. And Noah gets real bad nightmares sometimes—you’ll get woken up.’
He crosses his arms, leaning a hip against the fence, fully unconvinced.
I’m running out of arguments, so I grab for the one I think will hit hardest, the one I need for myself too. ‘And what about when you bring women home? That would just be weird. We’d be completely in the way and—’
‘Blue,’ Sawyer sighs out, dropping his gaze to the floor. ‘I—I ain’t brought any girls back since I last saw you.’
‘What? Why?’
‘Why?’ He barks out a laugh and my cheeks immediately heat.
‘God, sorry, that’s none of my business.’
‘Don’t get flustered around me now, Blue.’ He smirks, definitely knowing that will do theoppositeof de-flustering me. ‘I’ve had a lot going on—the ranch has fallen to me now my dad’s gone. Ain’t had the mental capacity for much. Plus, I don’t know if you noticed, but I kinda broke my leg. Only so much I can do with my hands.’
The way my body tightens at what he said is completely unwelcome. He’s talking about using his hands onother womenfor God’s sake, yet it’s heat that licks upmyspine.
This is why I have to say no.
But it’s at that exact moment that Noah’s sweet little laugh rings out again, and his footsteps come pounding up the steps to the wraparound deck where we’re standing. He barrels into me, hugging my legs.