In shock at Hector’s admission, the words popped out of Miguel’s mouth before he could stop them. “Did you want to return the favor?”
Hector’s head snapped back up at that, and he stared at Miguel in horror. Hector hadn’t looked that scared during the entire movie last night. Miguel’s face burned with embarrassment.
“I didn’t mean like now. Or then. Or anytime. That’s not what I meant at all. I just— That was dumb.” Miguel forced himself to stop and take a deep breath. “I’m sorry. Just forget I even opened my mouth to say that.”
The shock slowly eased from Hector’s face. “It’s okay. But we’re not going to go down that road. We’re friends, and we need to leave it at that.”
“Of course,” Miguel agreed. After that, they stood there awkwardly. They’d apologized and agreed to forget about it, so there was nothing left to do but move on. If they could. Miguel offered a tentative smile and changed the subject. “I made dinner if you’re hungry. Pork chops, red rice, and green beans.” They were some of Hector’s favorite foods, and he’d made them as a peace offering. To Miguel’s relief, Hector returned the smile. It wasn’t as easy as the ones pre-BJ, but it was something.
“I am. I skipped breakfast this morning like an idiot. Lunch didn’t fill the gap.”
“Then let’s go eat.” Miguel turned to head into the kitchen, but Hector lightly grasped his wrist, stopping him.
“Wait. I should have said this first. I’m sorry I scared you last night. I said I’d never hit you, and it’s true, but I shouldn’t have acted in a way that made you think I might. Having you look at me with fear on your face…” Hector paused, swallowing hard. “That made me feel dirty inside. Especially since it was my fault for stomping around like an asshole. I’m sorry. And it won’t happen again.”
Miguel’s mouth dropped open in surprise at the apology. So many men didn’t realize how intimidating they could be. A deep, loud voice was enough to make someone like him, who didn’t necessarily have the size and strength to come out on the winning end of a fight, flinch and go into flight mode. But Hector recognized it and was promising to do better. He was nothing like Santos.
And maybe that was why Miguel had given him the blow job in the first place. Was he attracted to his friend? Yes. He’d have to be dead not to be. Hector was gorgeous and he hit all of Miguel’s buttons with his broad chest and golden skin and arms that made him want to be held. But there was something more. Hector was such a good man. And Miguel loved the way he looked out for him. It made him feel special, like Hector was his own personal protector.
With that history and relationship, Miguel couldn’t help but feel a little more affection toward him than he should. Unfortunately, whatever feelings he had would never be reciprocated. He’d known that since he was a teenager, so he needed to put those thoughts away and be satisfied with the friendship Hector gave him.
He looked down at the strong brown fingers encircling his wrist, then up into Hector’s eyes. “Thank you for saying that. I appreciate it. And I believe you.” Hector gave him a gentle squeeze then let him go.
“Good. Now we can eat.”
Chapter 5
Saturday morning, Miguel sat across the kitchen table from Hector again. This meal was even more relaxed than the first few meals after their talk. It seemed like things were back to normal, with Hector calmly eating a breakfast sandwich of toast, scrambled eggs, and bacon, while Miguel talked more about his new employer.
“Do you need to do anything to get ready for your new job?” Hector asked.
Miguel shook his head. “Not really. All the training will start once I’m there. But I do need to get some scrubs. Since my mom bought my interview clothes, I have enough money to get a few pairs. It took me forever to convince her to let me buy work clothes on my own. She wanted to take me to the store anyway but she had to go and help my grandma today. Do you mind taking me?”
Before answering, Hector picked up his glass to finish his apple juice. “Just take my truck and get what you need,” he said when he put the empty glass back down.
Miguel’s eyebrows shot up. “I can’t drive your truck.”
“Why not? You’ve got a valid driver’s license, don’t you?”
“Yeah, but—”
“I’m not up to going into stores on my day off, and you need work clothes. Take my truck, Miguel.” Hector nodded at the list on the fridge. “I’ll give you my debit card. While you’re out, get the stuff we need for the house too, all right?”
“Okay. Thank you so much,” he said with sincere gratitude.
Hector got up from the table and took his plate over to the sink. “Don’t worry about it.”
Still surprised, Miguel went to shower and get dressed. Once he was ready, he walked outside to Hector’s SUV, a big Dodge Durango. The dark, berry-red paint job gleamed in the sun, the tires shone glossy-black, and the rims sparkled. Miguel popped open the locks and slid in.
The immaculate inside didn’t surprise him. In high school, Hector had saved up and bought himself a car. The little hatchback had been three steps away from the junkyard, but Hector had kept it just as clean as a car fresh off the factory line. After getting settled in the driver’s seat, Miguel drew in a deep breath. The air smelled like Hector. Cool and crisp like the sea. He remembered breathing in that scent as he’d kissed Hector’s neck, skin warm under his lips…
Miguel shook his head and turned on the radio to distract himself from that memory. They wouldn’t be having another episode like that. Miguel put the truck in gear and backed out of the parking space. He needed to quit thinking about it so they could get back to the way things were before. As he turned the SUV toward the highway, Miguel reminded himself yet again that was what they’d agreed to do.
***
Hector sighed after the door closed behind Miguel. He needed to be alone in his space for a while. Not that he had a problem with Miguel being there. But having a small apartment meant they couldn’t really get away from each other with both of them at home. After the blow job from out of nowhere and the awkward but necessary conversation the other night, they needed time apart.
Relieved to be on his own, Hector started to drop on the couch and turn on the TV. But when he looked at the thing, all he could see was Miguel curled over his lap, head slowly bobbing as he sucked him off. He still couldn’t believe that had happened. Couldn’t believe how fucking good it had felt.