"I like that." He pulls me closer. "June. Harper's first birthday. That's our deadline."
"You're okay waiting that long?"
"Red, I'd wait forever if that's what you needed. But I'm glad it's not forever." He grins. "Four more months and then I get to fully claim you publicly? I can survive that."
"Four months," I echo, and it feels both impossibly long and surprisingly close.
"Four months," he confirms. "And then no more hiding. No more separate bedrooms. No more pretending we're still figuring out what we are."
"What will we be?"
"Everything." He kisses me, soft and sweet and full of promise. "We'll be everything, Red."
We stay on the couch until almost midnight, talking about futures and promises and all the things we're waiting for. And when we finally separate to go to our own beds, the yearning is still there, the wanting still aches.
But so does the hope.
Because we're waiting for something real.
Something permanent.
Something worth every second of torture.
And that makes the waiting bearable.
Barely.
But bearable.
32
NORA
Tyler leaves Thursday morning for a four-day road trip, and he does not want to go.
He's got his gear by the door, Harper in his arms, pressing kisses to her face while she giggles and grabs his hair.
"I hate leaving you guys," he says for the third time.
"We'll be fine. It's four days."
"Four days is a long time."
"Tyler." I take a step closer and adjust Harper's pajama top. "Go. Play hockey. Come home Sunday. We'll be here."
He kisses Harper one more time, then hands her to me, kissing me longer than he probably should when he's about to leave, but I'm not complaining.
"Text me everything," he says. "What Harper's doing, what you're doing, anything that changes?—"
"I'll text you. Now go before you miss your flight."
He leaves reluctantly, looking back twice before getting in his car, and I'm left in the doorway with Harper waving at the empty driveway.
Thursday is normal. Our usual routine: tummy time, reading books, playing with toys, and an afternoon walk in the stroller. I text Tyler photos throughout the day, and he responds between meetings.
Tyler: She's getting so big. Miss you both already.
Me: You saw us five hours ago.