My chest tightens. "I love you too. God, I've been trying so hard not to, but I do. I really do."
He crosses the small space, his hands framing my face. "Then why do you look terrified?"
"Because this changes everything." I close my eyes, leaning into his touch. "Jessica could come back, Tyler. She could decide she wants Harper, and if she does—if there's a custody battle?—"
"She won't win." His voice is firm. "She abandoned Harper. The courts won't?—"
"They might." I open my eyes, looking at him. "And if they find out that you're sleeping with the nanny, that could complicate things. Make it look like Harper's home environment is unstable."
"Red." His voice is gentle. "Jessica abandoned her. She hasn't contacted me once in over five months. No court is going to take Harper away from her established home just because you and I are together."
"But what if?—"
"I know. You're catastrophizing. That's what you do when you're scared of losing something." He kisses my forehead. "But we'll be smart about it anyway. For Harper. And for you, because I know you need the time."
I take a shaky breath, letting his words settle over me. "So, we keep it quiet. Private. Just us. At least until custody is secure. Until we know Jessica can't take her away."
Tyler's quiet for a long moment, processing. Then: "So we can still fuck, right? Like, in private?"
I burst out laughing. "Did you seriously just ask that?"
"I'm being practical." But he's grinning now. "We just had the best sex of my life, and I need to know if I'm allowed to do that again or if I'm supposed to suffer."
"You're ridiculous."
"That's not an answer, Red."
I pull him closer by his belt loops. "Yes, we can still fuck.Obviously. But we're taking this slow everywhere else. For Harper's sake."
"Define slow."
"No telling people we're together. No public displays of affection. To the outside world, I'm still just the nanny."
"You've never been just the nanny."
"I know that. You know that. But everyone else?" I gesture vaguely toward the world beyond the laundry room. "They need to keep thinking about it. Until Harper's safe."
He's quiet again, and I can see him working through it, weighing what I'm saying against what he wants.
"Okay," he finally says. "We keep it private. We're together, but we're careful about it. For Harper."
"For Harper," I agree.
"But Nora?" He tilts my chin up, making sure I'm looking at him. "This isn't just sex for me. What we just did—that wasn't just about wanting you physically. That was me being in love with you. That was me choosing you. And I need you to know that."
Tears prick my eyes. "I know. It wasn't just sex for me either. It was—" My voice breaks. "It was everything."
He kisses me, soft and sweet and so full of love it makes my chest ache.
"Come on," he says eventually, helping me down from the dryer. "Let's get out of this laundry room before we do something stupid like go for round two."
"Would that be stupid?"
"Probably not. But Harper could wake up any second, and I'd like to have a shirt on when I check on her."
We clean up the laundry room—picking up scattered clothes, folding the last of Harper's tiny outfits, and pretending everything's normal when everything just fundamentally changed.
In the living room, we settle on the couch, and Tyler immediately pulls me against his side. His arm comes around my shoulders, and I tuck myself into his warmth, my head on his chest. The silver bracelet he gave me on Christmas morning catches the lamplight where my hand rests on his stomach—the small N charm I've been wearing every day for two weeks, the one I told him was beautiful when I unwrapped it and didn't tell him I cried alone in my room afterward.