I don't know what to do with that. I just look at her.
"Harper doesn't see someone who ruins things," she says. "She sees her dad. The person who shows up. The person who makes her feel safe. That's who you are to her, and that's what a judge is going to see too."
I pull her into my arms, face pressed against her shoulder, and she holds me while I fall apart.
She doesn't flinch. She doesn't pull away. She just holds me.
When the worst of it passes, I'm depleted and wrung out and lighter than I've felt in months.
"I'm sorry," I manage. "I shouldn't have?—"
"Don't apologize." She pulls back enough to look at me. "You catch me when I fall apart. This is me catching you. That's how we work."
My phone buzzes on the coffee table. I reach for it.
There’s an email from Ms. Chen.
Court Date Set, March 8th Emergency Custody Hearing.
Ten days.
"What is it?" Nora asks.
"Court date. March eighth."
She absorbs this for a moment. "Ten days. Good. That's enough time to prepare. Ms. Chen will tell us exactly what we need, and we'll do all of it." She takes my face in both hands. "We can do this, Tyler. All of it. Together."
I kiss her because I need to. Because she's here and solid. She knows the worst of me, and she's still here.
"Together," I agree.
We end up on the couch, Nora lying with her head on my chest, both of us finally still.
Around two in the morning, she asks, "When we win—not if, when—what's the first thing you want to do?"
"Take you both somewhere," I say. "Somewhere with a beach. Let Harper feel sand for the first time, and watch her try to eat it, which she definitely will. Just be a family without any of this hanging over us."
"That sounds perfect."
"And Red? After we win, I'm telling everyone. No more hiding. No more pretending you're just the nanny."
She tilts her head up and kisses me, soft and full of everything we're waiting to say out loud.
In ten days, we will walk into court to fight for Harper.
And whatever happens, we're doing it together.
That has to be enough.
It is.
38
NORA
Monday morning, four days before the hearing, and we're in Ms. Chen's conference room for the third time this week.
Emma drove up yesterday with Diane, moral support, childcare, and the house has the specific warmth of people gathering around something that matters. It helps. I didn't know how much I needed it until I was standing in the kitchen with Diane, making tea, when I started crying without warning. She just handed me a tissue and kept making the tea.