The sight of Pops and Mama dancing across the living room floor usually would make me smile. Tonight, it annoyed me. It made me think back to dancing around the kitchen with Heir. I should’ve been planning us a dinner and dancing date instead of trying to get her out of my system. With a huff, I looked over at Ariel and told her, “I’m about to head out, Sis. You need anything before I go?”
“I’m good, baby. Are you? You seem kind of down.”
“Yeah, I’m good, baby sis,” I said as I stood.
“You sure? Is this about my girl?” she asked me with a syrupy smile.
“You still talking to Heir?”
“Of course! Was I supposed to cut her off because you did?”
“How is she doing?”
“I’m not getting in the middle of y’all. If you want to know, call her yourself.”
My eyes rolled toward the ceiling as I pulled her into my stomach by her hair. Before I could tickle her, she yelled for mercy, and that was the only reason I released her. That, and the fact that her infectious giggles made me smile for what felt like the first time all day.
“Come on in here and get you a to-go plate, baby,” Mama Neo said, and I certainly wasn’t about to turn that down. As I leaned against the island, Mama put one item after another into the foil container. “Did your daddy ever tell you about how I ran off while he was guarding me?”
Chuckling, I shook my head as I gripped the edge of the island. “Nah. He never told me about that. What happened?”
She released a sneaky sniggle. “Welll, you know I was dating someone else at the time. One night when I was at Rey’s house, I found out that he had been cheating on me with his baby mama. Chile, I booked an Uber and left so I could beat himandhis baby mama ass. I can’t remember what Merc was doing at the time, but when he found out, he wasn’t just upset that I’d left… he was also worried sick thinking something terrible was going to happen to me.” Her head turned slightly and she locked eyes with me briefly. “He had every right to be upset and afraid because Gatlin had his cousin following me, so while I was focused on my revenge, I’d walked straight into a trap. Had your father not tracked me down, I’d be dead. It took him a little timeto get over his frustration with me, but clearly he did because we’re still together now.”
“So it’s common practice for a woman to risk her life and drive her man crazy in the process is what you’re saying?”
Mama laughed as she closed one container and started filling another one. “In this family? Yes. In that moment, I didn’t really care about what could go wrong. All I cared about was my hurt and anger. I didn’t think about how upset your daddy was going to be. How scared he’d be that something was going to happen to me. How guilty he would have felt if I would’ve gotten killed. I couldn’t process any of those things until the dust settled, and that was when I regretted it.”
Sighing, I sat down at the island. “I was sick, Mama. If something would have happened to her, I would have carried that guilt for the rest of my life. How would I have even lived if she would have died while I was supposed to be protecting her? I couldn’t have faced myself in the mirror after that. I mean… I get why she did what she did, but that doesn’t change the way I feel about it.”
“It doesn’t have to,” she said softly. “You’re entitled to have different feelings and perspectives. You’re entitled to disagree. I know this is bothering you because you care. You care because you care. That’s proof that you’re invested enough in her to work this out.”
“I’on know, Mama. How can I be with someone who doesn’t trust my lead? Who doesn’t communicate with me? Who goes behind my back and does shit that she knows could hurt us both?”
“I think the better question to ask is, was that decision a reflection of her character, or an emotional mistake? You’re entitled to your boundaries, and I’m not telling you to go against them. I do wonder if that’s a boundary you shared with her to begin with. If so, and she still violated, stay away from her. If not,give her the lesson and keep her and her love in your life. Maybe she didn’t see it as crossing your boundary because she didn’t know it was one you had.”
“That’s true,” I confessed. “We talked about a lot of things, but boundaries and what partnership and marriage looked like for us wasn’t on the list. Honestly, I didn’t feel like we needed to. I knew she was going to be my wife regardless, so I felt like we’d navigate certain things when we got to them.”
Mama Neo chuckled as she put the containers in a bag and walked them over to me.
“I want you to consider her position. How do you think she’s going to feel if she can’t trust you to be a partner who’s willing to work with her through the problems you all face? If your solution is to demand accountability before you walk away… where’s the healthy communication in that?” She was right, so I couldn’t even respond. “You and Heir have a solid connection and the chemistry is there, no doubt about it. And while you may have made the choice to love her and be with her, there’s still so much you have to learn about each other. Talk about your boundaries, needs, the things you’re willing and unwilling to tolerate. She may have done something that you didn’t like, but don’t let your ego be the reason you lose her forever.”
Mama placed a kiss on the top of my head and gave me a hug that I willingly leaned into.
“Thanks, Mama. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
“Of course, Son. Maybe I can sympathize with her more because I made a similar choice. Imagine if your father would have been so upset that he let me go. I know the protector in you feels violated because she handled this on her own, but it’s handled, Marz. The enemy is gone. You won. Don’t take an unnecessary loss. You owe it to yourself to at least have a conversation with her, but only when you’re ready to listen.”
I gave her another hug before I thanked her and stood. After saying my goodbyes, I headed to the car but checked my notifications before pulling out. I noticed I had a missed call from Kiana. Cursing under my breath, I called her back. She’d called me twice while Heir and I were at the safehouse, but since she didn’t leave a voicemail or text me, I figured it wasn’t that important.
Kiana was my first best friend and kindergarten girlfriend. Our parents swore we were going to be together forever. The crush I had on her when we were five faded away by the time we made it to first grade. Everyone urged us to be together, so we tried again our senior year, even going as far as giving each other our virginities after prom, but it ended there.
We only had sex one other time, and it was a pity date more than anything. There was no emotion in it, not on my part at least. I was just trying to be there for my girl and things went a little too far. We agreed we’d never take it there again, especially because it temporarily made things weird between us, and I valued our friendship too much for that.
“Sheesh. About time you called me back,” she said, making me smile.
“My fault, Kee. Life has been crazy. Wassup though? You good?”
“Yeah, I’m good. I need to talk to my best friend. When can you make time for me?”