“You don’t know what I am.”
“I know exactly what you are.” He leans in just enough that I can smell his soapy forest scent beneath the gunpowder. “You’re a survivor. You’re a healer. You’re tactical, smart, dangerous, because you’ve been running on rage for fuck knows how long without a way to channel it. But you’re not a killer.”
My hands curl into fists to keep from reaching out to touch him. “And you are?”
“Yes.”
I inhale sharply, not expecting that level of honesty.
Mason doesn’t blink. He doesn’t soften. His eyes are dark and uncompromising and utterly lethal. “I’ve killed more men than you’ve ever met, and I know what it costs. I know what it takes. And you don’t want to go there.”
“You don't know anything about me.”
“I know you froze when Kelly got close. I know you panicked when I moved toward you at the bar. I know your body still remembers what they did to you.” His gaze drops to my wrist again, then back to my face. “You want them dead? Fine. But you're not the one who's going to pull the trigger.”
My breath catches. My entire body is vibrating with fury and something else—something hot and unfamiliar that I refuse to name. “I don't need you to fight my battles.”
“This isn't about need.” Mason's voice drops lower, rougher. “This is about capability. You're an operator. You're good at surveillance, at intelligence gathering, at staying invisible. Butwhen it comes to the kill shot?” He shakes his head slowly. “That's not you. That's me.”
I don’t need to be a killer. I just need to kill one person. “I can?—”
“You can't.” He cuts me off with brutal efficiency. “And if you try, you'll get yourself killed. Or worse—you'll hesitate at the wrong moment and they'll take you again.”
That hits like a gut punch. Just the thought of it makes my stomach roil with terror.
34
MASON
Ihate that I put that look in her eyes, but I’ll hate it more if I sugarcoat things and let her walk into conflict.
Fuck if I let that happen. I’m going to offer Lily my hands in any way she needs. I set my weight. “You want Turner dead? I'll kill him. You want Kelly eliminated? I'll put a bullet in his skull. But you're not doing this alone anymore.”
She lifts her chin, glaring at me. “I said I don't want your help.”
“You're getting it anyway.”
The air between us is electric. Does she feel it like I do? I can’t tell. I'm fighting every instinct I have to keep from pulling her into my arms. I'm standing so close I can see her pulse hammering in her throat—close enough to feel the heat radiating off her skin. My hands are flexed at my sides, every muscle locked down to keep from reaching for her.
I want to touch her. God, I want to touch her.
But I won't—not like this. Not when she's running on adrenaline and rage. Not without knowing more about her past and how badly she’s been hurt. I’d rip my guts out with my own hands before I hurt Lily voluntarily.
Her breathing changes. Shallow. Quick. Her eyes drop to my mouth, lingering there, and I see it—the want she's trying to hide, the pull she's fighting just as hard as I am.
Relief floods me, and I relax, knowing she feels this thing between us too. “Pretty girl, you need to understand you're not alone in this anymore.”
Her mouth falls open, because of what I called her or my vow, I’m not sure. She shakes her head, but it feels like habit more than conviction. “I don't need?—”
“Yes, you do,” I cut in. “I’m beginning to think you need more than you’re admitting to either of us. You may not want to, but your body already knows you trust me.” I lean in just enough that she has to tilt her head back to hold my gaze. “But don’t worry. I won’t push. If you want me to kiss you, pretty girl, you're going to have to be the one who starts it. Your choice, not mine. But don’t worry. I’ve already chosen you.”
She stares at me, her eyes big and stunned. I expect her to slap my face. I expect her to shove me and close the door. I expect her to laugh.
Instead she steps toward me.
35
LILY