“You’re just asking me to rant about the million lists I’ve made in my head,” I try to deflect.
The look Jessi is giving me speaks volumes.
I take a deep breath and start talking fast. “Everything is set. We have tables, chairs, and the tent from last year. Everything is clean and ready to go to the fairground when we’re able to set up. The kids have worked their asses off going to businesses to ask for donations for the silent auction. Some things have been donated anonymously.”
“Then what’s the problem?” She studies me closely. “It sounds like everything is under control. This isn’t your first year doing this. You know it’s all handled.”
“But until it all happens, I’m going to be a knot of anxiety,” I whine without a single hint of shame.
If you can’t whine when talking to your best friend, are they really your best friend? I mean, honestly.
“Got it. Everything will be fine. My job is to remind you of that about a gazillion times between now and the fair,” she says it without a hint of judgement. Just fact.
And that’s why I love this girl.
I grin from ear to ear and sigh; my hands pressed to my chest in total swoon mode for a moment before reaching for the glue. Again. “You just get me,” I bat my eyelashes at her.
She snorts out a laugh before going back to whatever she’s making, but I can tell her heart isn’t in it. I’d love to just bask in it being summer, but before I’m ready it’ll be time to be back in the classroom. My Liberty Bell isn’t going to disco-ize itself.
“You know you can put me to work,” she offers.
My shoulders relax and I nod. I do know, but asking people for help feels foreign. Even after being friends with her for so long.
“Could you come and help me supervise the kids? I’d like to be able to see some of the fair too.” I blush and bite my lip. “I’d like to take some pictures. Whenever I put a new print up on my website, I get a few sales.”
“It’s because you’re talented,” she says it like it’s obvious.
It isn’t.
Not to me.
“And of course I’ll take a shift or two at the tent,” she waves her hand and abandons the scissors in favor of her wine completely.
Her mouth twists to one side like she’s considering something before asking, “Have you heard about what happened between Graycie and your dad at Dolly’s Place?”
I know she’s not asking maliciously, but my heart still sinks. My dad is not a subject I like to spend a lot of time on. It’s complicated.
He’s not a bad man. No, in fact he’s a good man. I think that’s what makes it even harder for me. Because even though I feel a certain way about him, I also see how much care he puts into protecting the town and doing his job.
I don’t even begrudge him that. He should be invested in being the sheriff. I just wish the cost weren’t his high expectations and how much stress he puts on appearances.
There were times when it felt like I was drowning. Honestly, it’s how I felt most of the time, at least after a certain age when I couldn’t lie to myself anymore about the weight of it all.
Then there were the rules. So many rules. He treated our house like it was his station, and he was definitely the man at the top of the hierarchy. I always had to be the best.
Always.
My grades had to be at the top of the class; it was pressure I endured for years. Even in college, he was always asking me about my grades and my classes. I suppose the only good thing was that he didn’t push me to be a doctor or a lawyer. When I told him I wanted to be a history teacher, he supported me.
When I was growing up, I had some teachers who made the days better, they tried and were passionate about teaching us. They’re why I came back to Dogwood Ridge after college. It was my hope to be that teacher for another kid.
“I heard,” I cut my eyes at Jessi, “and I also expressed my displeasure at his treatment of such a nice woman.”
When I shoot her a pointed look, she sighs and grumbles, “Let me guess, he wasn’t interested in hearing it.”
With a touch to the side of my nose I confirm, “Got it in one.” I shake my head and wrap another row of mirrors around my bell slowly. “I get that Graycie is with Snake, which I know is a disappointment to him, but the way he’s harassed her more than once is too far.” I can’t keep the disappointment out of my voice and I don’t even try.
“He’s never tried to hide how he feels about the club,” there’s a note of sadness in Jessi’s voice.