“Erm, no. I was implying you are a fucking psychopath.”
“Hmm,” Roman taps his finger to his chin, “sounds like a compliment to me.”
A laugh breaks out from all of us. It feels normal and easy as I lose myself in the moment. Tears sting my eyes and my stomach cramps from the giggles before reality hits me in the chest. This is why I didn’t want to be around people. This is why I locked myself away.
I shouldn’t be laughing.
Not when I don’t know what Robyn is going through right now.
I don’t want this. I don’t want to forget. If I live outside of this pain, then who will remember her? Who will fight for her? No. It has to be me. I swallow the next laugh and excuse myself as the guys dissolve into a different conversation. I press against the wall, taking deep breaths as I repeat Robyn’s name over in my head, trying to re-centre myself to the mission at hand.
I’m jolted out of my thoughts by the sound of footsteps echoing behind me and I turn to find Roman walking towards me. My breath catches as he stops in front of me and I have to physically restrain myself from leaning into him.
I hate how easily my body wants him. I hate that I want him at all. Especially him. Roman will be promised to someone far better than me and no matter how many times Robyn told me to cross that line, I couldn’t. I wouldn’t risk the friendship group when I knew what we had would eventually come to an end.
That never stopped me from checking him out, or from fawning over him when I was drunk though.
Roman flashes me a smile that shows those perfect dimples as his Baccarat Rouge 540 cologne engulfs me. It’s so uniquely him I can’t help but inhale deeply. Hints of jasmine, saffron, and cashmere wood fill my senses, my mind misfiring as I think about how good it would smell on my pillows. I swallow hard, forcing myself back into reality.
“Are you okay?” I ask, finding my voice.
“I like that sound on you, Tinkerbell,” he whispers, leaning into my ear as I hold my breath at the proximity.
“What sound?” I gulp.
“Your laugh, little one.” He wraps his arms around my shoulders as I tilt my head back. I’m the only one he ever touches. I would be lying if I said it didn’t give me some sick satisfaction.
“Don’t be sad you’re happy. She wouldn’t want this,” he continues.
“Oh, you’re the expert on emotions all of a sudden?” I snap back with a frown as he huffs out a small chuckle.
“No, it is just what I heard Mum say to Dad when he lost Oliver. I thought it was appropriate. Am I wrong?”
“You’re wrong.” I try to move out of his embrace, but he pulls me in closer, my heart rate pounding in my ears.
“No. I am never wrong, Tink. You just refuse to listen. But that’s okay. I will make you soon.”
He winks and I grind my teeth. God, this man is infuriating. I cannot help but think about all the ways he could get me to squawk like a bird and it is definitely not the way he is talking about.
There is also the added issue that I have never even slept with a man by choice. The thought sits heavy in my chest. If I told him, would he make love to me for the first time? Would he be soft so I could ease into it?
I scoff at myself. This man is a fucking sadist; he would definitely not be soft.
“What are you going to do? Torture me?” I taunt.
“Hmm,” Roman muses, dropping his arms as he takes a step back. “Something like that.”
He winks again before turning and walking towards the exit.
“Wait!” I shout and he stops mid-step but keeps his back to me. “Where are you going? We need a plan for the hotel.”
“I’ll meet you back at yours in an hour,” he states, then continues walking.
Taking a breath, I go back into the cave and tell the boys Roman has gone. The laughter has died since I left. Instead, those pitying looks they have been giving me recently are back.
“So…” I start as they all sit back down, “we cannot do anything about Robyn unless we can get some intel. Victor, Iwant you to track down anyone who could have a grudge against her. Start with the students in her history class. I heard Willow was being a bitch to her the day before she disappeared.”
Victor nods and types something into his phone. “What about her family?”