The church is waiting; whatever pulled us there will not care how gently the morning began.
CHAPTER 24
FAE
Ican’t work out whether the church feels more haunted in the evening or the morning. Either way, I will never get used to this place. My body shivers every time I step over the threshold, like God himself knows I am too impure to be here. That is, if there even is a God.
Ever since I realised Roman’s dad was the priest here, I have had questions. Mainly… why? He owns several pharmaceutical companies and is a founding member of The Company, so what makes the church so special that he works here as a priest too? Is it atonement for his sins, public opinion, or does he really believe in God? Whatever it is, it works for us and Mr. Longstaff is always kind to me.
I have watched how he interacts with his wife and I envy it at times. I can see where Roman gets his softness from. It’s not softness per se, more an understanding of how to treat women and in a world as cruel as this, only his dad could have taught him that. In a way, I should thank him.
The best three weeks of my life started with a murder in plain sight. With initiation tomorrow I know our time is coming to an end. I feel bitter about it. I never thought I would. I thought I could walk away and thank Roman for the memories withoutbeing affected but now I know how unrealistic that is. Out of everything we have found out over the last few weeks, everything that was done to me over the course of my life, I know this will hurt the most. There have been times I have wanted to ask him who his promised is, but then something happens and I don’t want to burst my bubble. Soon, I will lose them all, which is probably why Felix didn’t want me and Roman together. The thought of visiting my brother and seeing Roman with someone else in the kitchen makes me feel physically sick. I have to remind myself not to think about it before I spiral.
The church is quiet when we step inside, but not the peaceful kind. It’s the heavy kind. It is always the heavy kind. Roman’s hand rests against the small of my back as we walk down the aisle. I love how protected it makes me feel, like he needs to touch me to stay grounded. I’m not stupid, I know he has autism. Felix told me a couple of years ago, so I know touch is a big deal for him. It feels nice that he feels safe enough to reach for me. The scent of old wood and candles clings to the air as dust drifts in the weak light.
Making our way through the secret tunnel, I realise they are already here. Felix stands near the fire pit with his sleeves rolled up, his jaw tight. I have never felt more distant from him than I do right now. Not even when he stopped coming home. At least then, when he did see me, he saw me. Now it’s like his body is here but his mind is somewhere else. Riggs leans against one of the walls, arms crossed, looking less like a joker and more like a killer in his black-on-black outfit. Atlas is pacing, which he only does when something is bothering him, and Victor… Victor is still, too still.
Roman’s hand finally drops from my back as we walk into the room and the atmosphere shifts as they turn to us. The boys don’t greet me and for a brief moment I wonder if I belong here. This always happens. My shoulders might be square, my chinhigh, my steps steady, but it’s the voice inside my head that I fight the most. The one that tells me everyone would be better off without me here, that I’m not good enough to be around these people, that no one will miss me when I go to the compound. No matter how many times they reassure me, I’m not sure I will ever believe them. Only one of us can be right and soon we will find out who that is. I think it’s me.
“Before Father transfers over the business, I needed to make sure I was organising people loyal to me,” Felix says as soon as we get close, like he has been waiting to get this out. “I had a call from one of my contacts at the docks. There are shipment logs that don’t match the manifest, vans going inland that aren’t registered to any of our companies, shift changes that were not pre-approved…” He looks at Roman, holding his gaze as I glance between them.
“You think Father is running a ring out of our shipping company?” It was meant to be an inside thought, but my mouth opens before my brain catches up.
“Yes,” Felix responds simply. “Dr. Fisher and Father are, without a doubt, working together.”
“Where are these vans going?” Riggs asks, his knee bouncing.
“The warehouse Jack told us about in Clacton.”
My stomach dips at Felix’s admission. The words land like a stone. Clacton-on-Sea is about thirty-five minutes from Coggeshall. It’s a quiet, mostly forgotten seaside town. In the summer, everyone remembers it and takes a family trip, but in winter it turns into a ghost town, except for locals. The location is perfect. Busy enough that no one questions vans going in and out, and quiet enough that no one pays attention. It’s also close enough to move the girls back and forth if needed and an uneasy feeling crawls across my skin. Atlas stops pacing and turns to Felix.
“You think they are holding them there?” he asks.
“I have reason to believe it. It’s our best shot, rather than going from warehouse to warehouse and ending up empty-handed.”
He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper, tossing it onto the bench in front of him. We all move closer. A grainy aerial printout of a corrugated roof, fenced perimeter, and single access road spreads out before us. Heat spots show up inside the building. I count five, but I’m not sure if that’s security or victims.
Victims.
My breath stutters and I take a small step back. Could Robyn be in there? Or someone else? We’ve been chasing ghosts for weeks that I never stopped to think about what it would feel like if we actually found people. Luckily, Felix has already sorted the logistics for a rescue.
Victor has connections in America who said they would help with rehabilitation for anyone we bring out. Our main objective is to find them and convince them to come with us, which will be easier said than done. I was never locked in warehouses with God knows what done to me, but it still took me a long time to realise what was really happening. What if the people we find are happy, or believe they are? What if they’re too scared to leave? What if they don’t trust us? So many things could go wrong that it makes me uneasy.
Roman steps closer to the paper, his eyes scanning it like he’s memorising every entry and exit.
“You’ve got eyes on security?” he asks.
“From what I can tell, it’s light during the day and heavier at night. Two rotating patrols. Cameras on the north and west side, and a blind spot near the loading dock.”
Roman nods and steps back, our arms brushing as he looks down at me, a small frown pulling at his features.
“It could be nothing,” Riggs says, exhaling slowly.
“It’s not nothing,” Victor mutters. “It’s something. Please tell me we’re going tonight. We have initiation tomorrow and I don’t know when I’ll be free again. I can’t have this hanging over my head.”
Felix looks at Roman. It’s like some unwritten rule that Roman is their leader. It’s not like we don’t all have roles, but his detachment from emotion means he makes logical decisions, while the rest of us run on instinct. Roman nods once. I count to ten in my head before he speaks.
“Start planning, Felix. It’s a good lead, we can’t be twiddling our thumbs. We move in two hours. I want none of our normal phones and none of the company vehicles. We do this clean, quickly, and silently.”