“Of course you do. No one else can put up with your craziness,” Riggs interjects.
“I’m not crazy.”
“Sure, kidnapping a teacher, tying him up and carving your skull into his back over dogs is totally normal,” Riggs responds in a deadpan voice.
“It’s not about dogs.” Atlas’ voice is like a whip. “Is it?” He looks between Felix and me. “This is about Fae.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about,” I lie at the same time Felix says, “No.”
“Nope, we aren’t doing this,” Victor says. “What the fuck do you three know that you aren’t telling us?”
“We agreed no secrets,” Riggs adds, siding with Victor.
“I never agreed. You all did and told me. I didn’t,” I respond petulantly.
It’s like a compulsion. I can’t help it. The factually incorrect information burns inside me before I can stop it from coming out. Looking at Atlas properly for the first time, I realise he isn’t as confused as Riggs or Victor. What does he know? Felix refused for years to tell me anything about her. I don’t believe for a second that he told him and not me… but then, I do not pretend to understand how all humans work.
“What do you know?” I point at Atlas and he sighs.
“Probably the same as you,” he responds, and I glance at Felix, whose knuckles are turning white from how tightly he’s clenching them.
“What the fuck does that mean?” he barks.
“Well, it means he knows more than me and Victor.”
“Shut up, Riggs,” Felix, Atlas, and I say, and Riggs puts his hands up, mimicking zipping his lips.
“Talk.” Felix points at Atlas.
“Look, I did it for all of us, okay… I wanted to see what The Company had on us and if they could blackmail any of us. If they could, I was going to remove all the files.”
“You still aren’t talking,” I snark back.
My heart rate is going through the roof. Does he know more than me? Something that Fae has not told me? I should feel bad about the breach of trust, but I am compelled to find every single ghost that haunts her and kill them. How else can I do it if she does not want to let me in?
“Not a lot, honestly. When I saw what was on her file, I skimmed most of it because it felt like an invasion of privacy.”
“Quit talking in riddles about my sister.”
Thank you, Felix.
“I saw The Company had started offering her up in some ritual at twelve. There were notes on training sessions that Dr Fisher had done. It… it was not in the main body of her doctors’ notes, and it was coded.”
The sickening feeling that Dr Fisher did more than she let on grows stronger as my pulse races and my palms begin to sweat. Felix is now standing next to me, the tension in his body tight enough to snap. Victor and Riggs stand still, more shocked than Felix or me. At least we have a direction this could go.
“Honestly, I’m so sorry, Felix.”
I have never seen Atlas look so unsure before. It makes me nervous. He is the smallest in the group at six foot two and whilstI have never really processed the height difference, the sadness in his expression makes me want to pull him in for a hug. He looks small and feeble.
“She…” he clears his throat. “There were detailed explanations of what Dr Fisher did to her during her time in the crypt.”
“Spit it out,” Felix demands, his voice devoid of emotion. I look at him again and feel like the room has just dropped ten degrees. Felix has shut down. He knows what is coming, but I am not sure I do.
“Coded notes with detailed descriptions of waterboarding, torture, sexual assault, rape and more. It started when she was twelve and stopped when she was enrolled at university.” He glances at Jack, who still hangs from the ceiling. “She was often referred to by him as a dog.”
My pulse slams against my throat, my vision freckling as the truth locks into place. My little one. She was the one he was talking about. ‘Some animals require a firmer approach’. My breath fractures into sharp, ragged pulls. ‘The one I favour, the difficult breed’. His words loop in my head until I want to claw my brain out.
I lunge for Jack’s hanging body, ready to pour all of it into him.