Me on the other hand?
I’ll be watched and controlled by them for the rest of my life. If what Dr Fisher said is true…then it’s even more than I’m already bracing for.
I groan. I need to tell Felix what Dr Fisher said. We may need to shorten our timeline to nine months so I can help him as much as possible. The thing is, Father thought he broke us, but all he did was create survivors. I am not dead yet. And I will not stop until I am.
Picking up my phone, I scroll until I open our chat.
Felix:
are you going to try and go into uni today?
Fae:
I probably should. Father will have a fit. It’s been too long. I’m sure I’ll get called in if I don’t.
Felix:
shall I pick you up?
Fae:
go on then, if that’s okay? I need to talk to you anyway.
Felix:
yeah, I’ll be 30 mins. get the coffee on
Putting my phone down, I make my bed just how I like it before I jump in the shower. Once I’m done, I brush my teeth and throw my hair up into a messy bun. Going to a university like mine means you can’t ever turn up half-hearted. The vultures will eat you alive, so I go through the motions of doing my makeup.
I’ve perfected the routine to the point it takes no time at all. Primer, foundation, concealer, blusher, highlighter. I finish with a subtle pair of false lashes, dab Dior Addict lip oil over my lips, and get dressed.
It’s October, and autumn has finally settled in. Of course, living in England, that doesn’t really mean much. One year it’s mild, the next we’re hit with cold snaps out of nowhere. Essex is the driest county in England though, so I settle on boyfriend jeans, chestnut low-rise Ugg boots, a fitted white tank top, and a knitted chestnut cardigan. Pulling out one of my many brown designer bags, I add my MacBook, charger, house keys, and travel perfume. I’m just about ready when my door bangs shut.
“Do you ever think to knock?” I shout into the hallway.
“What would be the reason for that? I’m saving you a job,” Felix calls back.
“I could have been naked.” I start walking towards him, feeling mischievous. “Or masturbating, or fucking, or?—”
“Okayyy.” He covers my mouth with his hand, pulling me into a hug. “I get the picture. I’ll knock next time.”
I chuckle as I pull away, making my way to the open-plan kitchen and pressing the kettle on.
“Thanks for sorting my room out, by the way.” I spin and give him a smile.
He looks less stressed today. His beard is freshly shaved, his green eyes are brighter, and his vanilla and tobacco scent is stronger than it has been the last few days.
I’m not sure why we both gravitate towards vanilla. It wasn’t something I even noticed until Robyn pointed it out. He buys Tom Ford Tobacco Vanille like it’s going out of fashion. I can’t talk though; I wear a mix of Tom Ford Vanilla Sex and Dolce & Gabbana Honey Oud like it solves world hunger.
I secretly love it. I don’t know if Felix feels the same, but somewhere along the way, vanilla became comfort for us. We just made it our own.
“I didn’t sort your room out.” He bristles as I frown, then storms through the flat and pushes my bedroom door open.
One day, I’m going to purposely tie a man up and leave him naked on my bed just to give Felix the shock of his life. He genuinely doesn’t understand boundaries when it comes to me.
“What do you mean you didn’t sort my room out? Who did?”
Felix sniffs, then turns back to me. “Well, it certainly wasn’t Father. Who else has a key, Fae?”