Fuck.My.Goddamn.Life.
His silhouette rises onto its knees.Then he moves to straddle me.The hand that was jacking my cock leaves me aching and needy as it slides behind his back and works its way down.
He’s using his lubed-up fingers to prep himself.Even in the dark, I know that’s what he’s doing.I’ve seen that hole up close.I’ve seen my own fingers pushing inside.My hands jerk again, itching to reach for him.Again, I’m stopped by the force of the restraints.
Holy ever-loving motherfuck.
Part of me is furious.How dare the little shit do this to me?Part of me is pissed that I’m not the one pushing into his warm hole, spreading him open.
My hips give another kick.The stoicism I’ve worked hard to cultivate is nowhere in sight.Especially when a cloth chafes my dick, wiping off the lube.
Even knowing what’s coming, the telltale rip of foil makes my pulse shoot sky high.So does the cool sensation of a condom at the tip of my cock, the squeeze of Ravi’s fingers as he rolls it down.Goddammit, I wish I could see better right now.
His knees press into my hips as he rises up again, positioning himself over me.His hand is on me again, his slippery fingers braced on my stomach.There’s some wiggling and squirming as he tries, I assume, to get himself into the right spot.
Then I feel it.The tip of my cock presses at his opening.It’s all I can do not to buck my hips again.
“I’ve been practicing,” he whispers.“You’re bigger than my dildo, but that’s okay.I think I can take you.I know I can.”
This is going to end badly.You need to stop him.
I’ve never been more certain of anything.This is an absolute train wreck.
He’s angry.So am I.Whatever this is right now, it’s toxic.Nothing good can come out of it.There’s also an ugly, selfish voice whispering in my ear that this is actually perfect.He’s giving me what we’ve both always wanted, and I don’t have to feel like shit about fucking him if he’s got me tied down.
So, when he says “Remind me of your safe word, Liam” I don’t try to buck him off.I don’t tell him to stop like I know I should.
I say, “My safe word is red, kid.”
Then an unholy sound rips out of me as he begins to sink down, squeezing my tip in the most delicious, amazing, constricting heat.
He’s using me.I’m merchandise.An upgraded fucking dildo.
I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more.
“I’m going to fuck you now, Daddy,” he whispers.
Chapter Thirty
Ravi
At first,I didn’t think this was going to work.I only sort of planned it out.
Lying in my bed after packing up the few things I actually wanted to take with me, I couldn’t sleep.Couldn’t relax.Couldn’t reframe things in a positive light the way my mom and my therapist always tried to get me to do.
There’s no silver lining to finally getting everything you want and having it ripped away just as fast.
As I stared at the popcorn ceiling, all I could feel was this ugliness boiling in my blood.Watching Mr.Cat curled up by my pillow, the need to hurt Liam the way he was hurting me crowded my insides.To use him the way he’d used me.
So, I guess that’s what I’m doing.Liam would say I’m being impulsive again, but it’s working out better than I expected.
“You’re so big,” I whisper as I slide down the length of Liam’s monster cock.“I’ve never been so full.”I’m breathless with the effort of taking him.
This isn’t the moment I wanted it to be.Him on top.Sweetness.Love is what I wanted.But I’ll take this, if it’s all I get.
I’ve experimented with a few things.Things I later found out I shouldn’t have tried to put in my ass, and I guess I’m lucky I was able to get them out.
Would Liam have been even angrier than when I overdosed if he’d had to pick me up from the hospital because I had a cucumber lodged inside of me?