My eyes narrow. “Do you mean, if I would be Challenged?”
“That, and if you still had faith in the trials.” He shrugs.
“Regardless of my love life. I have a duty.” I growl. “And I will perform it.”
He paces before the hearth, wringing his hands. “Yes, that’s the thing, you’ve been Alpha going on eleven years now without a mate. The trials saw much success last year, almost all wolves found mates. The gods must be displeased with you.”
The gods? I nearly laugh.Iam displeased. What would he have me do? Drag Ember by her auburn hair and bind her against her will?
“Tell them to get in line,” I snarl as he continues his muttering.
The priest flinches, but presses on, “It’s just that if you?—”
“I know. I’m well aware.” How many times am I going to be reminded of my shortcomings? And the stakes involved? I’ve risked my life, my position. What more do they want from me?
“But you can’t be Alpha much longer if you do not have a mate.”
“I have a mate,” I snap.
“Do you?Shedidn’t seem to think so. I talked to her myself last year, I even told her that if she felt the bond not to ignore it, because the gods don’t bless us twice. Yet she still refused you. How do you explain that?”
Heat surges in my chest. I stalk toward him, my three scars throbbing against my temple. My fangs flash. He stumbles back toward the door.
“This year is different.” I snap, low and dangerous. “I don’t need your help, or even the gods’ help. Nothing will keep me from her.”
The priest stammers something about the gods’ disapproval at my insolence and flees, robes snapping behind him.
I slam the door so hard the windows rattle.
Let the gods rage. Let every wolf in this cursed castle rise against me. Ember is mine this year. I’ll prove it to them, to her, and gods.
Chapter 36
EMBER
My nerves coil so tight that they burn my stomach and I nearly miss the feast. Roman went down before me as I retch and chew on some spearmint to steady myself. By the time I pull my black robe tight and descend into the temple hall, dinner is in full swing.
The air is thick with roasted meat and chatter. No one stops the feast to notice me, which is a blissful change from last year. I glance around at all the faces. Most of them are a new crop of expectant mates. Last season must have been prosperous with unions just as the priests had claimed. That means, only a few wolves know about mysituation. I decided not to lose my virginity this year to some random hookup. I had a mate, and if he still wants me, he can have me. All of me.
I find the Shadow pack and slip into an empty seat. I missed the priest’s speech this year because the food is already being consumed as I glance down the table. Wolves are ripping into legs of meat and shredding tendons from bones. It’ll be awonder if they find a mate with these table manners. Bile rises in my throat, and I’m forced to look away.
As my eyes trace the stone columns that line the temple, I tell myself I’m not looking for ice-blue eyes. They skim the table and the temple floor. No Thorn. No Roman either, my heart stutters.
“Cullen, have you seen Roman?” I lean across the table toward my Alpha.
He points down the table. “He was just there.”
A cough. “I think he’s talking to Thorn,” Honi says from beside him, tilting her chin toward the columns by the temple doors.
There, in the shadow of the column, Roman is speaking animatedly to a tall figure, pale hair loose around broad shoulders.
Thorn.
I freeze.
He’s alive. As if sensing me, his head turns. His ice-blue eyes lock with mine. His tongue darts out and licks his lips. My body flushes in reaction to him. The temple vanishes.
He’s not wearing his white robe; his back is on full display. He received more scars than when I last saw him. In addition to the three red scars down his face, there’s a raw line that cuts across his back, and claw marks sear down his left leg where the hair no longer grows. All of them a token of survival that makes my chest clench. This year wasn’t easy for him either.