Don’t get me wrong, I’ve explored my own body before. I’m not totally clueless. I’ve seen how wolves mate, how they love. The raw, unfiltered hunger of it. But I’ve never been touched like that by another.
Will my new mate care? Will he expect more than I know how to give?
A moment of doubt claws at me, and I dig my paws deeper into the dirt, tearing up the earth as I veer toward the northern woods. Trees blur past in streaks of green and gold. Branches whip behind me. I leap over a downed log, twist through narrow gaps, breathe in the damp musk of moss and fallen leaves. The valley opens wider on the other side.
Finally, the soft trickle of water reaches my ears.
I slow at the edge of a stream, its surface dappled with reflected sky. The cold scent of it cools my overheated brain. I pad forward, sinking my paws into the muddy bank until the silt curls around my toes. Dropping my head, I lap at the water, cool and refreshing.
Each mouthful grounds me, slows my hammering heart.
But it’s not enough. I step deeper, wading into the stream until it reaches my chest. I dunk my head beneath the surface, and everything stills. The cold rush quiets my thoughts in a single, shocking second. My fur clings to my skin for a suspended breath, it’s just me and the weightless silence of water.
Then I burst through the river’s surface in a spray of droplets. I shake out my coat, scattering mist into the air. The sun warms me instantly. I stand for a moment at the river’s edge, water dripping from my muzzle, chest heaving.
I feel … better. Still unsettled, but quieter.
I lift my snout and scent the wind. Nothing but trees, soil, faint trails of pack members long gone. But somewhere out there,heexists. A part of me aches to find him again. As I’m taking in the afternoon sun, my eyes notice river reeds lining the bed beside me. Strong but flexible in the breeze. It gives me an idea for that outfit I have to make for the ball.
After my run, I shift back and bolt up the stairs with a handfull of reeds in my hands. Breathless from the sprint, muscles humming from exertion and the zillion stairs. The corridor is quiet until I reach the first-floor landing.
A low growl, not a threat, but cruel amusement. It stops me cold.
“Well, well, if it isn’t the temple’s most holy blessed,” sneers a tall brunette, arms folded beneath a buxom chest.
“Look who it is, virgin,” another adds, flicking her silvery braid over her shoulder.
I slow. Too late to backtrack back down the steps. Three of them lean against the hallway walls like predators in wait. Their eyes gleam with malice and something else — jealousy?
“I wouldn’t worry, Sky,” the brunette continues. “What does a virgin know about touch and taste? You’ll probably faint the second someone grabs your tit.”
Another giggles. “You’re right, Robyn, She’s no competition. Men want fire and passion, not some toothpick who can’t fuck.”
My breath hitches, but I keep walking. Pushing past them toward the next stairs. That’s when I spy Dove, hiding behind them, leaning against the wall. Her eyes don’t meet mine, but she doesn’t try to stop them either. My heart climbs into my throat, it really is over between us. This is the line in the sand. Can she really just stand there? Unless she believes it too. It’s no secret she and Leif were intimate, but I didn’t think she would judge me for not doing the same.
Their laughter follows me as I ascend.
“She probably doesn’t even know what to do with her own hands, let alone someone else’s,” they continue, words haunting me up the stairs.
“Maybe she should take herself out of the running. Leave the mating to the real females.”
I push forward without a word, fighting the sting behind my eyes. My bare feet pound up the stone steps. Dove had called me competition, but she’s hanging out with these bullies? Maybe she just doesn’t want to be aroundme.
Once I’m in my room, I lock the door before falling face first into the bed. My body is exhausted from the run, the betrayal, and all the festivities. But my chest aches as the truth wraps around me.
Because they’re right, what do I know? What if I don’t measure up?
What if that beautiful mystery wolf realizes I’m just pretending? I’m not ready for all of this. I’m not a mate. I hug myself close as I drift off.
When I wake, Roman’s bed is still empty. Panic pulses through me. How late is it? He should be back by now. But then I spot a folded note on his pillow.
A map is sketched on the side, and beneath it:
Found something wild. Come quick. –R
I don’t pause to think, I can feel the moon rising in the sky through the coolness of the stone, and if I don’t hurry, I’m going to be late for the trials.
The temple doors blur as I dash past them. Several people line the hall waiting for the doors to open. I slip past them, down the steps to the second level.