There are too many people involved as it is, and I don’t want anyone else getting entangled in my web of lies.
It’s bad enough that Olivia and Katia have been roped into this, but having them by my side makes me feel better.
I wish I could tell you everything, Mason. You have no idea how much this is killing me.
But I can’t outrun the inevitable anymore where the baby is concerned.
And I’m worried that if I wait any longer, I’ll change my mind.
I’ve spent the past few days in a daze, trying to make my peace with the decision, and now that the time has come, I feel like I’m going to be sick.
Keep it together, London. Just a little while longer, and you can put this whole thing behind you for good.
If Mason lets us off the estate…
“I’m going to be fine,” I say. “Doctor Shepard needs to run a few tests.”
Mason swings his attention back to me, and guilt courses through me at the look in his eyes. “I don’t understand why he can’t do any of that here. I’ll double his fee.”
Olivia walks over to us and places a hand on Mason’s shoulder. “Some things money can’t buy, Mase. You know that.”
A muscle ticks in Mason’s jaw.
He lowers his head.
Mason stands up and crosses over to his desk. A moment later, he picks up the phone and barks something into the receiver. Olivia helps me to my feet as Nadia and a man with a buzzcut walk in. In silence, I watch as Mason gives them terse instructions. Once he’s done, everyone except for me files out of the room. Once they’re gone, Mason crosses over to me and crushes me to him.
Tears prick the back of my eyes as I wrap my arms around him and inhale.
I want to stay in his arms.
I want him to slay my demons for me while I watch from the safety of the sidelines, but I know I have to face this on my own.
I don’t just need to be strong for myself, but for Mason, too.
“If you get into any kind of trouble…”
I bury my face in the crook of his neck and let the familiar smell of him wash over me. “Don’t worry. Katia and Nadia trained me well.”
Mason draws back to look at me and releases a sharp breath. “Okay.”
I clear my throat and drop my hands. “It’s fine. I’m going to be fine.”
“Okay,” Mason repeats. “If you want me to come, I will.”
I glance up at him, see the tightness around his eyes, and almost cave.
This is the same man who helped me bandage my knee, who stormed an abandoned house, and risked war with his enemies to save me.
The same man who is willing to stand up to his father and the entire world to be with me.
Why can’t I tell him the truth?
For the umpteenth time, I find myself wondering if I’ve built up the fear too much in my head and convinced myself it won’t work out.
Mason loves me, and I love him.
We’ve been through too much for it not to work out.