“Okay,” I replied, trying to stay calm while I took this all in. “I still don’t understand why you’ve had to be on the road so much.”
He sat forward, his hands clasped on the table, eyes blazing with an intensity I hadn’t seen in him before. “Because the Riders may have dealt with the man who put his hands on you but far as I’m concerned, he’s still breathing so it’s not enough.”
I swallowed hard. It was the first time I’d had to face head-on what Cash was capable of, and I wasn’t sure how I felt. “You’ve been looking for him.”
He nodded, his bright blue eyes fixed on me, assessing my reaction. “I can see you’re unsure—maybe a little scared.” His tone was low and hoarse with feeling as he continued. “But this is the man I am. Justice has a very specific purpose for me, it always has. I will see it carried out. That man could have taken you from me. I can’t allow that to stand. I won’t. You have to decide if you can live with that,” he stated.
This was why he’d avoided telling me. He was worried I could walk away from him because of it.
We sat regarding each other as the waiter placed our food in front of us, wisely assessing the gravity between us and skittering off without a word.
“I don’t want you putting yourself in danger because of me,” I murmured, voicing the main concern I had once I’d had a moment to collect myself. Maybe it made me a bad person, but I trusted Cash’s code of honor and I respected the hell out of the man he was.
His mouth quirked as though amused I’d be worried about him. “Baby, the only danger will be coming from me,” he assured me darkly. His eyes dropped to my untouched plate. “Food’s getting cold.”
And there it was, a comment so seemingly simple and yet incredibly weighted. I could let this divide us, even end us. Or I could press onwards. And so I did the only thing I could. I picked up my fork and took a bite.
Relief flashed in his eyes along with something much more powerful. Joy.
“When should we tell Riley you’re moving in?” I asked, wanting to change the subject.
“How about tomorrow over breakfast? I’ll make pancakes. We can tell her at the same time we tell her about the new pool goin’ in the backyard.” He dropped the last bit so casually, it took me a minute to catch on.
“Wait, what? What pool?”
He grinned. “The pool you want that I’m gonna give you.” He leaned closer. “My movin’ in, it doesn’t just mean sharing a space. It means we can put our mark on things together. I know you loved your nan, but babe, you gotta admit some of the shit in that house is dated as hell. I know you’ve been holding off and I get why. But I’m here now. We just made things permanent. And that means we’re gonna make some changes, including a pool.”
“But a pool is super expensive,” I murmured.
“Good thing we have the money for it then,” he answered without hesitation. At my look of confusion, he leaned forward, reaching for my wrist, his thumb stroking leisurely over my pulse point. “The gym does well, chief. And I’ve lived pretty simply. I haven’t had anything worth spending money on aside from my bike.” His gaze smoldered as he continued. “Until now. I know you’re used to doing things on your own. But you just let me into your home and into your life in a way that I don’t ever plan to turn back from. Only direction we’re going is forward. So, those days of you worrying over finances? Of having to provide for you and Riley alone? They’re over.”
Cash had been saying as much from the beginning but something about this felt different; for the first time, his words truly took root. Now, as my future flashed in front of me, birthdays, Christmas morning, the first day of school and all the insignificant but no less beautiful moments with Riley, Cash was there. My eyes filled with tears as it all hit me like a lightning bolt.
“Babe?” he asked in concern, moving to my side of the booth and wrapping an arm around me.
“You’re really going to be there.” I hiccupped. “I mean, I knew it, but I didn’t reallyknowit,” I rambled.
He kissed my head, holding me as I tried not to make a scene and likely failed miserably.
I pulled back to look at him, wiping at my eyes and hoping makeup wasn’t all over my face. “It’s just, when I adopted Riley, I accepted it would be the two of us. And that was okay. Scary and sometimes lonely, but okay,” I explained. “The hardest parts weren’t when it was most difficult but actually, the beautiful moments, not getting to share them with anyone. And now….” I let out a shaking breath. “Knowing I get to share them not just with someone but with you, it’s overwhelming.”
He pressed his forehead to mine. “I love you so fucking much.”
“I love you too,” I murmured as his mouth crashed down onto mine in a soul-searing kiss. And then I didn’t care if we were making a scene. Let them look.
When we came up for air, he still held me close, his hands cupping my face. “Will you teach her to drive? I think I’d be shit at it,” I admitted.
He chuckled warmly. “Yeah, baby. I’ll teach her to drive. And how to ride a bike and how to throw a mean right hook.”
A throat clearing next to our table pulled his attention from mine. The look he shot the waiter conveyed just how much he didn’t appreciate that. “Get us the check.” His gaze returned to mine before he spoke next. “We’re headed to the club.”
He didn’t leave room for argument, not that I would have. I wanted to be part of his world, all of it.
Chapter 17
CASH
Can you get to the club? Or I can get to you.