Dammit, I really had to stop sharing my internal dialogue.
“Mason will be up soon,” I murmured, feeling utterly resplendent.
“Hmm-mmm,” he agreed, pressing into me suggestively. “Better make this one quick then.”
“Again?” I squeaked incredulously. Not that I was complaining. Far from it.
“Again,” he murmured.
In the end, it wasn’t quick. It was deliciously drawn-out and just as mind-altering as the first time.
Mason had picked the perfect morning to sleep in.
Chapter 20
“Janelle, it’s Jill. Again.” I sighed as I left my sister another voice mail. “I’m seriously worried. Call me back.” I hung up, hanging my head in defeat. I knew my messages were of no use but I didn’t know what else to do.
“She still not picking up?” Cal’s voice surprised me as he walked into what had become our bedroom. I hadn’t realized he’d overheard.
It had been a week since we’d come together in the most mind-altering sexual experience of my life. And it had continued to be mind-altering. Every night. And occasionally at nap time too.
I turned around to face him from my position seated on the edge of the bed.
“No. I don’t know what to do,” I admitted. “I could fly out to New Mexico, but then what? She’s not at home. I asked one of our old acquaintances to go check. I think she took the kids somewhere—God knows where. Should I call the police?” I asked, desperate for advice. “I’m really worried.”
“Cards on the table, babe. This happened before?” he demanded, his jaw tight. “I know your relationship with her has never been good, but has she up and disappeared like this?”
I nodded, hanging my head in frustration and despair. “Last time this happened, just over two years ago, Jan had fallen off the wagon. Gran took the kids in. I would have in a heartbeat, but things with Tim….” I shook my head, my fingers twisted in my lap. “That was no environment for them.”
Cal came to sit beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me close.
“But... Gran’s gone.” My voice was barely a rasp as I looked over at Cal, my expression desperate and chest tight with worry.
He gave my shoulders a squeeze. “You should have told me it was this bad,” he reprimanded me gently.
I nodded. “I know. I’m sorry. Everything with Tim is still such a mess.” I sighed. “I was reluctant to pull you into another one until I had to,” I admitted, wincing at his reaction.
He growled in frustration, removing his arm from around my shoulders. “Your mess is my mess. And it’s not even that,” he amended. “It’s two innocent kids that could be at risk.” He stood up, looking angry. “You keep holding shit like this back, thinking of it as an obligation to me, we’re gonna have problems,” he warned severely.
He was seriously pissed.
“The second I think we’ve made progress, you just pull us right back to square one. Is that where you want to stay? Is it comfortable there, Jill?” he demanded. “Where no one can fucking get to you? Not even me? Christ.” He shook his head.
I winced as his words hit their mark.
He ran his hands through his hair, his eyes to the ground. “I gotta go blow off some steam.”
I watched him stalk from the room, unsure what to say or do to make him stay. In that moment I wasn’t sure I wanted him to. A second later I heard Mason’s sweet voice from his crib. He was awake from his nap.
No time to ponder how monumentally fucked-up I was. I had a son who needed me. Thank God for that.
****
Cal had left Tag to watch the house. He’d remained out front as the day stretched into night. I was grateful to avoid what would have otherwise made for an awkward evening. Tag was one of the Knights I knew the least, but truth be told, it probably wouldn’t have mattered who it was. I was too out of sorts to make conversation with any of the guys. Plus, even if the mood had struck, chatty wasn’t something in any of their DNA anyway.
I debated calling one of the girls but I didn’t feel like talking it out. Instead I focused on Mason. I made him dinner, unable to eat much myself, and after a bath put him to bed.
I gathered up my things and went back into the guest room, not wanting to take over Cal’s space and needing some space myself.