I couldn’t get used to it.
I didn’t want Mason to get used to it.
I wasn’t sure how long Cal would be around. I didn’t know what was happening between us. I didn’t want to invite further instability into my son’s life.
Though I’d shielded him as much as I could when I’d been with Tim, I still worried about any impact my poisonous marriage could have had on him. I wanted the rest of his life to be filled with stability. I wanted him to know love and to be loved.
And I needed him safe.
Chapter 9
Cal’s home sat on the west side of town on a large plot of land. With the mountains as a backdrop, the sprawling ranch-style home was a gorgeous complement to the desert landscape.
When we walked inside, we were met with high ceilings and an open concept space with hardwoods floors that led to a gourmet kitchen.
“You cook?” I asked with a raised brow as my hand drifted over the granite countertops, eyeing the high-end appliances with envy.
“Ah, no.” He chuckled. “Bought the place that way. Microwave and grill work great, that’s about all I can say.”
“Few dust bunnies in the oven then?” I teased.
“A few,” he replied, watching me intently. “Do you like it? I want you and Bubs to be comfortable here.”
His concern warmed me and eased some of the nerves running rampant in my belly. “It’s a beautiful place, Cal,” I assured him.
He nodded, relief evident in his eyes. “Let me show you the bedrooms.”
He led me down a hallway, stopping in front of the first bedroom on the right. “My room’s at the end of the hall,” he explained, and I could swear his voice was an octave deeper. “Until you’re ready to sleep in there with me, I thought this room would be most comfortable for you.”
My heart hammered in my chest as I looked past him into a nice-sized room outfitted with a double bed.
“Mason can have his own room. I already have a crib set up for when Gracie spends the night. He should have everything he needs.”
“Are you sure we’re not putting you out?” I fretted.
He chuckled. “No, babe.” He took a step closer. “You should know by now, having you under my roof is exactly the way I want it.”
I was beginning to get that sense.
Mason squirmed in my arms and Cal reached for him. “Let’s show Bubs his room.”
****
I couldn’t sleep.
After a simple dinner, I’d put Mason to bed and disappeared into my temporary bedroom, desperate for some time to collect myself. Now, it was hours later and I’d been staring at the ceiling for longer than I cared to contemplate.
I needed air.
I padded quietly out to the gorgeous backyard Cal had shown me earlier, complete with a swimming pool.
Seated comfortably in one of his patio chairs, I knew the mountains sprawled out ahead, shrouded in darkness. I pondered the stars twinkling brightly above in the clear night sky.
I didn’t know how long I’d been sitting out there when the sliding door opened quietly behind me. I fought the urge to look over as Cal pulled a chair close to mine and sat beside me.
When he reached for me, his strong callused hand lacing with mine, I felt an immediate sense of calm. I looked over at him. Dressed in jeans that he’d clearly thrown back on and nothing else, his hair mussed with sleep, he was the most gorgeous sight I’d ever seen.
“Can’t sleep?” he asked.