As her pregnancy progressed, I felt an attachment to her I couldn’t explain. She became my priority, and in making sure she was taken care of, I started developing feelings for her. When she gave birth to Symphonee, my feelings grew more as I watched her step into motherhood. She was determined to do everything right, and it made me care for her more. We bonded over our love for baby girl, and I started to see her as a woman and not a child.
“Lyric ain’t ready for a nigga like me. She’s young, and I don’t just mean in age, but mentally too. She’s been through a lot of shit, and sometimes I think it plays a big role in the way she handles things. I like bitches who know how to communicate. I’m too fucking grown for temper tantrums and childish ass games. Do I love her? Yes. Do I think she’s ready to be in a relationship? I don’t know. She wants to be in the clubs every weekend, and you know I’m not into that shit. We might only be three years apart, but that shit makes a difference when it comes to maturity levels.”
The first time Lyric and I had sex, I wanted to lock her down and make her my woman, but she simply wasn’t ready. She loved to party and be outside with her friends. There was nothing wrong with it, but we were in two different stages in life. We were complete opposites in our personalities. She was loud, wild, and extroverted, while I was the complete opposite. I didn’t like to be in the spotlight, and I hated drama. Meanwhile, Lyric stayed beefing with bitches online. There was always so much bullshit going on with her and her hoe-ass friends.
“You might be right, but I still think you should be honest about how you feel. It’s obvious she’s tryna get your attention while you’re still tryna act like you aren’t feeling her. She might change up how she carries herself if you keep it real with her,” Logic suggested.
“Naw, I’m cool for now. She needs to focus on school and on raising Noodle. Plus, we’re about to open up these new businesses, and I don’t have time for any distractions. Our money is about to triple in the next year, and I want to give it my full attention. If we’re meant to be, the shit will work itself out. In the meantime, she’d better get her mind right.” It took everything in me not to hop on a flight and show my ass, but I was gonna let her make it.
“What’s got you so stressed out, Grandson? You done huffed three times since you’ve been here.” Granny Nessa probed as she fed my Noodle baby.
“Her momma is stressing me out.”
“What seems to be the problem?”
“I wouldn’t necessarily call it a problem. We just aren’t on the same page. She has been going out partying with her friends almost every other weekend. She came home at two in the morning a couple of weeks ago, then had to get up a few hours later to go to class. Then when I try to talk to her about it, she gets defensive as if I’m calling her a bad mother, when I’m tryna get her to see there are more important things to do besides shaking her ass around a bunch of niggas,” I vented.
“Was she late for class?”
“No.”
“Did she leave you with the baby without asking?”
“No, I told her I would keep my baby,” I replied, trying to see where her line of questioning was going.
“Then tell me what the problem is. She went out on a weekend day, made sure her baby was straight, got up, and took her tail to class even though she was probably hungover. Am I missing something?”
Granny fed my baby girl some smothered chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy. Her little butt was tearing it up as if she hadn’t eaten all day.
“She goes out almost every week, and I feel like that’s a little excessive. Symphonee is still young, and I think she needs to prioritize being at home more rather than running the streets with her friends. Then she booked this last minute trip and hopped on a plane like it was nothing. She’s been acting weird lately, and I don’t understand what has gotten into her,” I explained.
Granny wiped Noodle’s mouth, then turned her attention to me.
“You’re a hypocrite,” Granny stated matter-of-factly. I was taken aback by her statement.
“What do you mean? How am I a hypocrite because I think she should be in the house more?” I could feel myself getting upset, but I wanted to hear what she had to say.
“When you were her age, you were constantly running the streets, and even though you claimed you hated going out, it didn’t stop you from being in those clubs or at those house parties drinking, smoking, and everything else you wanted to do.”
“Yeah, but that’s different. I didn’t have a child to take care of.”
“You do now. You’re acting as if you don’t understand where she’s coming from, and that’s what makes you a hypocrite. Lyric has had a rough upbringing, and she hasn’t been able to live like a normal young person. You’re acting as if she’s being neglectful, when in reality, she is using her village while trying to live life. That girl has had so much taken from her. Do you really think she should have to sacrifice her fun years just because she’s a mother?”
I sat back and thought about what she was saying. Lyric was forced to grow up sooner than most, and she still took care of business. I guess I had been judging her too harshly because she wasn’t allowing her circumstances to slow her down.
“At the end of the day, Lyric is doing everything she is supposed to as a mother. When she got pregnant, you agreed to be there for her through it all. How can you tell her that she has a village to count on and then judge her for using it? Symphonee isn’t lacking anything, and neither is her momma; that’s the way it’s supposed to be. If we want to get down to the real truth, then we can lay it all out on the table.”
“What you mean by that?” I asked curiously.
“The reason you’re upset about her staying out and partying has nothing to do with this precious little baby and everything to do with the fact that she’s out living her life instead of being at home waiting for you to walk through those doors.
“I don’t know who you think you’re fooling, but you aren’t doing a good job, baby. We all see the way you look at her and the way you carry her. The arrangement may have started out as you helping out a friend, but that ship sailed a long time ago.”
Granny pulled my card as I sat there trying to come up with a valid rebuttal, only to come up short.
“Look at you. Over there looking dumb in the face. You get that from your silly ass momma.” She huffed, getting up from the table with Noodle perched on her hip.
“Granny, why you gotta do me like that?”