I don’t know how long I’ve been down here, but I have run until I can’t push myself anymore. I pull the emergency stop so I can step off and bring myself down to lie on the floor with my arm over my eyes. I am breathing heavily, covered in sweat. I have short shorts and a sports bra on, but I still feel like I’m overdressed for how overheated I feel.
The giant fan comes on in the corner of the room before someone lies on the floor beside me. “Why are we lying on the floor?” Billy asks.
“Because my legs don’t work,” I say breathlessly. “What do you need, Billy?”
“You gonna be a brat to me, too?” he asks with humor in his voice. I drop my arm and turn my head to glare at him.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” he laughs.
“I’m choosing to ignore that,” I say, looking up at the ceiling.
“Is this about Jake looking like he was about to bend you over for yelling at him?” he asks.
“Uh… Yeah,” I admit. “I don’t know how to process that.”
“Not much to process,” he says. “You were a brat who narrowly escaped being punished.”
“Why should I be punished for having emotions?” I ask forcefully.
“For acting out rather than communicating,” he says. “For screaming rather than talking. Really, you just respond best to someone dominating you. Specifically, people you trust. You don’t act like a brat with people you don’t trust.”
“I guess, it’s just that being a brat with the guys leads to… very specific consequences,” I say.
“You mean they fuck you into a disassociation?” he asks, laughing.
“Yeah,” I smile.
“So, are you panicking on the inside because you are afraid that’s where it will lead with Jake, or because you are afraid thatwon’tbe where it leads with Jake?”
“First of all, I’m not panicked. Second, Jake would not do the same things that Lance, Dean, and Mason do.”
“You must not know Jake very well,” he says as he stands and pulls me up with him.
“If by well you mean how he fucks, no. I don’t know Jake very well,” I laugh and grab my water.
“Keep being a brat to him, and you might find out,” he says before turning to walk upstairs.
“Hell no. Don’t you walk away from me,” I say as I grab his hand and pull him back. He turns on me so fast that I nearly trip over myself to back up.
“Or what?” Billy asks with a smile as he walks closer. “Are you going to panic? Oh wait. Are you going to bedominant, Sadie? Is that it? Tell me, Sadie… Are you acting out because you need something more intense but don’t know how to ask for it, or are you actually angry with us?”
“Billy,” I whisper as he backs me against a wall. “Please don’t fuck with my head like this.”
“Am I in your head already, Sadie?” he asks as he puts his hands on the wall to either side of me and leans in. “I haven’t even put my hands on you.”
“Billy,” I say, nearly panting.
“Say it. Tell me to back up,” he says. “Tell me you don’t want me close to you, and I’ll back off.”
“This feels like a trap,” I whisper.
“Hey, guys,” Mason says as he walks down to the basement. Billy turns to greet Mason, and I run. As I go to slip past Mason, he pulls me in front of him. “What’s going on?”
“N-Nothing,” I stammer. He narrows his eyes, and guilt stabs through me when I realize what Billy had done to me. I abruptly pull away and run upstairs. I go to the master bathroom and lock myself in so I can take a shower without anyone turning me on more.
I turn the shower on and step in while it’s still ice cold. The icy water shocks my body, and I gasp as I let it try to wash away the feelings Jake and Billy created. As the water warms, it feels amazing. My mind easily wanders as my body relaxes.
Before I know it, I’m daydreaming. Not just daydreaming, but I’m thinking about them. All of them. What the fuck is wrong with me? I feel like I am possessed as I lean against the shower wall and slowly rub my clit.