“Perhaps pressing is what a brother is for.”
“Or perhaps listening is,” Violet said calmly, but Nicholas shook his head.
“You were crying on our doorstep at midnight,” he persisted. “I will not simply stroll and purchase ribbons as if…”
“Then buy me none,” Maria snapped, too loud.
They all stilled.
Nicholas lowered his voice. “Maria.”
“I am tired,” she said. “Of being told what I ought to want, what I ought to accept, what constitutes sensibility and sacrifice. I have been trying not to be a burden from the moment you found me, Nicholas. And now, now that I want one thing for myself, I cannot have it, and everyone wants to tell me why that is the correct and noble outcome.”
“What is the one thing?”
She pressed her lips together until they hurt.
“Do not, Nicholas.”
“Let’s find a quieter corner,” Violet said, laying a hand on Maria’s back.
“There is no quiet anywhere,” Maria said, a thread of despair pulling free. “Not in my own head.”
Nicholas reached for her, then stopped.
“I will fix it,” he said, aching with sincerity.
“You cannot fix everything,” she said. “You cannot make Stephen be someone he is not. You cannot make me not want what I want. And you cannot keep asking me to choose between your comfort and my heart.” Her voice rose again, and she hardly cared. “I will not be a problem to be solved to the satisfaction of the men around me.”
“Is that what I do to you?” Color rose along Nicholas’s cheekbones.
“Today? Yes,” she said. “Today it feels like your love is trapping me instead of freeing me.”
He opened his mouth, shut it, and opened it again.
“I am sorry,” he managed, “I am… I do not know how to be any other way.”
“Then learn,” she said, and the plea under the sharpness undid him.
“Maria,” Violet said gently, “take a breath.”
The tension was rising, and Maria knew that she must remove herself from the situation promptly.
“I am going to walk,” she said, not looking at either of them. “Ten minutes. Alone. And then I will come back and we can resume as normal.”
Nicholas hesitated.
“I’ll come with you.”
“You will not,” she said, already stepping away. “Ten minutes.”
He made the mistake of following a pace. “But…”
“Nicholas,” Violet said, “perhaps we ought to give her what she is asking for. It is clear that this entire thing has taken a great toll on her.”
“Ten minutes,” he echoed, surrendering.
Maria moved into the crowd. For a few strides, she could still hear Nicholas murmuring to Violet, and then the music and chatter folded over those sounds, and she was just one more figure among many.