I can’t let Reeves find outanyof that, of course. He would be horrified to know what Gabriel and I are really doing, even though I don’t think it’s so bad. He’d never allow me to go on spending time with Gabriel if he knew the true basis of our companionship. Not that he could stop me! But he wouldcertainly make the attempt, and I’ve always had such a soft spot for anything Reeves asks of me, I just don’t know if I would have the ability to refuse him.
“I’m sure he’ll be at Heathmare,” she repeated. “Though I’ll be happy to write to him and make sure of it, just so we know what to expect.”
“I think that’s a good idea,” Reeves agreed. “You should tell him that your brother will be there and would like to meet him.”
“No, don’t tell him that,” Bridget laughed. “That will make him less likely to go! He’ll be afraid that Reeves is going to give him a dressing down. And let’s be honest, that’s a very sensible fear to have.”
“I don’t dress people down,” Reeves objected.
“Yes you do, darling. You’re doing it right now. You’re already forming opinions about this man, before you’ve even had the chance to meet him.” Bridget smiled at her husband. “Just give the poor fellow a chance,” she urged. “He may not be on the verge of marrying Agnes, but it’s clear that she likes him, at the very least—don’t you, Agnes?”
Agnes would admit to that much. “Yes,” she agreed. “I do like him. He’s very…engaging. Very interesting, and kind.”
“Then I’m sure we’ll see just as many good things in him as you have,” Bridget encouraged her. “Personally, I can’t wait to beintroduced to this man. I think it’s going to be wonderful to meet him.”
Reeves crossed his arms. “I’m less sure of this,” he confessed. “But if it’s what you really want, Agnes, I suppose I’ll be willing to meet the fellow. For your sake.”
The truth was that Agnes had no desire at all for her brother to meet Gabriel. It was only going to make everything more complicated, because there were so many things they just couldn’t talk about. Reeves would want to know how they had met, and that was a question they couldn’t answer with anything even close to the truth. And that was only the beginning.
“Well,” Bridget said, obviously sensing the tension in the room, “I’m just glad I get to go to this affair at all, Agnes. I haven’t been out of the house since I first discovered I was with child, and I just can’t tell you how much I’ve been looking forward to this ball. Your brother is exceedingly overprotective, as I’m sure you know.”
“I do know,” Agnes murmured. But as she thought about men being protective, it wasn’t her brother who was on her mind—it was Gabriel again, and the way he had behaved toward her at the gentlemen’s club. The way he had reacted when he had believed her to be in trouble.
She never would have imagined she would enjoy being protected so much. It wasn’t something she had ever longed for. In fact, she had usually resented the very thought of it. She was able to care for herself, and she didn’t need anyone standing up forher like that. It made her feel as though people thought she was weak. Except it hadn’t been like that with Gabriel. She hadn’t thought he was disrespecting her. It had simply seemed as if he was upset that the men at the table weren’t treating her the way he wanted them to—as if that was something he reallycaredabout.
Was it possible that he had come to care what happened to her?
No, I’m overthinking this. That isn’t what it was. It was just that he was afraid we would be made fools of if my true identity werediscovered. And he was right to worry about that, because if it had happened, it wouldn’t just reflect badly on the two of us. Helena might be caught up in the scandal.
That was the crux of the matter. That was the reason he worried so much more about scandal and appearance than he ever did. It was because he had Helena to think of, and he couldn’t allow her name to be tarnished by the things the two of them were doing. She had to be protected. She had to come out of all of this without having been harmed.
That was what Agnes needed to keep in mind above all else. They were doing this for Helena’s sake, more than anybody else’s. She mattered more than the list. She mattered more than anyone’s reputation. She was an innocent in all of it, and she couldn’t be allowed to come to harm.
Agnes sighed.
Gabriel had taken chances on her behalf. Grave chances. If something had happened in that gentlemen’s club, it might have had drastic consequences for Helena…and Gabriel had risked it.
She owed him whatever she could give now. She would do whatever he asked, as long as it was within reason. He would want to be seen with her at the upcoming ball, she knew, even if it did mean facing the complication of an evening spent in the company of her brother and the impossibility of answering any questions he might ask them.
So, as soon as she could, she excused herself and went upstairs to write him a letter explaining the situation and inviting him to join her at the ball.
A few dances, she thought. A quick appearance, just like last time, and then they would be on their way. Everyone in all of London society would see that their courtship was enduring and that it was something to be taken seriously. They would be one step closer to the day they would be able to separate from one another for good.
Thinking about that day made Agnes feel surprisingly sad.
Having him out of her life would be a disappointing thing. She was really beginning to enjoy the time they spent together. And though she longed to complete her list, there would be a sense of letdown in having it behind her.
That’s a long way off, though, she reminded herself as she sealed the letter.There are still three things left on the list toaccomplish. And if I thought the first two were challenging…well, what’s to come is going to be much, much more difficult.
She couldn’t even let herself think about it. Not yet. It was going to take more courage than she had ready at the moment, and she could only hope that, given enough time, she would find the nerve to face what she had set out for herself.
CHAPTER 16
“Welcome!” Norman boomed happily.
Reeves laughed at his friend’s exuberance. “His Grace the Duke of Heathmare. I must say, I never thought I would see you so overjoyed to hold the title you do. There was a time you hated the very notion of being a duke.
“Well, I’m still not overly fond of it,” Norman chuckled. “But it does come with some awfully nice benefits, I will say that. Including the ability to throw rather splendid parties. This event is worth the trouble.”