He’s wrong, though.
Travis has always needed me, just like I have always needed him.
“Well, no offense, and I mean that, but none of those things have helped him yet, have they?”
He flinches. “I’m not goin’ to dictate how you live your life, you’re not a kid anymore, but I will tell you you’re makin’ a big mistake goin’ back near that man.”
He turns and walks away before I can answer.
I exhale slowly, and head into my room.
In the bathroom, I let the shower run hot, as if I could melt last night off my skin, as if water could change anything at all. I can still smell him on my skin, even after I try to wash him away. Finally giving up, I get out of the shower, get changed and climb into bed. I exhale, texting Reagan and telling her I have so much to share later. She stayed with Harley last night, but she knows where I was.
Reagan knows everything.
I stare at Travis’s number, and wonder if he has woken up yet and noticed I’m gone?
Did I sneak out, while he was sleeping?
Yes.
I did because I know that the road we’re about to go down is bumpy, and I need to decide if I’m all in this time. I can’t be half in. I can’t quit when times get tough. The choice now is simple: either I am giving myself over to Travis Phoenix for good, or I am walking away and this time, I’m not looking back.
An impossible choice, because it feels like both endings are going to hurt just as much as the other.
So how do I choose?