“How are you, Cece?”
“Doing ok, all things considered. I’m glad you could come visit.”
“Me too, because I have news. Also, I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you like crazy. What news do you have?”
“There’s an attorney who is interested in taking your case pro bono, and he’s very good. He wants to come up and meet with you soon. Damian Sanderson, Esquire might be the help you need to get out of here sooner rather than later.” I’m vibrating from excitement, but whenI fully take in Celeste’s expression, she’s not exactly matching my energy. My face falls.
“Aren’t you excited?” I ask.
She sighs heavily. “Nia, I told you not to worry about that. I’ll be fine here. If I stay on my best behavior, I’ll have a chance at making parole early, but I don’t want to get dragged through more legal crap. Ok?”
“Why? Why is this the one time in your life you don’t want to fight?” My voice comes out raised and the guard glares at me. I’m trying to contain my frustration but I don’t understand why she’s being like this.Please don’t leave me alone,I want to beg her.You’re the only family I have.
“Because I’m tired. Because what life do I have to fight for?” It comes out in a hiss. “You’re an adult now living your life in the next state over with a gorgeous new roommate, who you need to tell me more about, by the way. The phone calls did not give us enough time to go into detail. My job and apartment are gone. I have nothing, ok? I have to rebuild my life from scratch, and maybe the time here will let me get my head on straight to do that.”
“You could come live near us, Cece. Get a job in Jersey, hang out with me regularly, meet my roommate and see the cats. I’m building a pretty nice life there, and the only thing missing from it is you. That’s what you can fight for.”
“You don’t want me polluting this life you’ve built. I’m proud of you, by the way.”
“I’ll say it again, you are the missing piece in my life,” I tell her more forcefully. “I hated when you moved to NY even though we still saw each other often enough. Cut that out about polluting my life, you’re all I have. You’ve never polluted my life, you’ve been one of the brightest spots in it, even when things were pretty dark.” I feel my eyes stinging, dangerously close to tears that she thinks so little of herself. Her face softens when I finish talking.
“I have a ton to think about. There’s a lot of work I need to do on myself, and I need to figure out what I want my life to look like. Give me some time, ok? Maybe this Damian would be a good option, but I’m not sure what I want to do or if I want to go to trial again only for it to fail.”
“Ok, ok, I’m sorry. Take some time, then, but I think you should eventually talk to Damian and see what he thinks. Please?”
“I’ll think about it. Moving on, did you say, “our cats,” as in they’re his now too?”
“There’s a joint custody agreement and everything in case he really pisses me off and drives me away. He can have them on weekends and one evening per week.” She snorts a laugh, and my god have I missed her laughing.
“Are you two together? Like officially? What about your not shitting where you eat rule?”
“Rules can bend, as you well know,” I sniff defensively. She laughs again before I go on a little more seriously. “I’m still not sure how I feel about our coworkers knowing, I don’t want them to look at us differently. They know I’m staying with him, and that we’re friends.”
“You’re not fooling anyone, sweetie,” she snickers. I glare at her playfully.
“I just don’t want another Scott situation. Carlo was quick to point out that this is different because there’s no power imbalance with him.”
“He has a point. Tell me everything, this is the tea I need today.”
I fill her in more about Carlo, how he’s kept my nightmares away and is insanely cute with the cats. That we got through our first emergency vet visit together. Finally, I tell her about the kissing, and she looks giddy for me.Hopefully the guard isn’t listening too closely because she wants every detail.
“He sounds amazing, Nia, and like he worships you the way he should.”
“I’ve never had a serious boyfriend, Cece. I don’t even know what to do with this man who calls me his dream, constantly wants to cuddle and kiss me, and is already talking about the cats like they’re his babies. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but having something this wonderful in my life is unnerving. Like I’ll find out it’s been a mirage and will disappear any second.”
She regards me seriously now. “It’s the blind leading the blind if you’re coming to me for relationship advice. It sounds like you two already have it worked out, though. Keep spending time together and learning about each other. That’s all you can do, I’d imagine. It doesn’t seem like he’ll ever disappear on you. Let yourself enjoy this, ok? If anyone deserves it, it’s you.”
“I’m meeting his whole family and best friend this weekend. He has three sisters and a sister-in-law. Could you imagine what it would be like if we grew up having big, loud, family dinners?” She snorts again, this time a little more derisively.
“Jack and Beverly would never. They didn’t like having a ton of people over and they weren’t great cooks. They tried, though. No one has ever tried with me more than them and you.” I know the bare bones about her birth family and some of the places she was bounced around to. Her parents had her when they were teenagers and thought they could handle it. She had a brother come along 18 months later. It all became too much for them after a while, and they just abandoned two small children. She doesn’t really remember them very well but it was not the best start to life. Her brother wasn’t placed with her,and she doesn’t know where to begin to see if he’s even still alive since she doesn’t even remember what his name is. They were separated when she was 4 and he was 3.
“This guy is good for you, Nia. He’s already bringing you to meet his family and you’ll have all of these experiences we never had growing up.” Her face is the softest I’ve seen it since I walked in as she studies me closely.
“Want me to see if he’ll come with me to visit so you can meet him?”
“You better bring him soon. If you’re meeting his family he needs to meet yours.”