A wet spot forms on the front of his pants, and his face turns into an embarrassed grimace.
“You didn’t even need to touch me to get me off,” he chuckles wryly.
“I still want to see it and taste it. Fair is fair,” I say, my hands going back to his waistband when he makes a grunt of agreement.
Getting his pants unbuttoned, I gently pull them down with his soaked through boxer briefs. His cock is perfection. Not big enough to be intimidating, but beautifully thick, straight, and veiny. It’s covered in come, and my tongue darts out to taste it, dipping into his slit. After a few more licks and sucks along his length, his hands come to my head in a gentle request to stop.
“Do you want to get cleaned up in the shower together, and then stay in here with me tonight?”
I already feel raw and overexposed after what we just did. What he’s suggesting seems more intimate than I know how to handle, because this is not a casual hookup where I’ll be gone in the morning. I promised myself that I would start to be brave, though. If I’m going to build the kind of life I want, maybe with him, it’s time to take some risks. He’s willing to put in the effort to try for us even with his issues with his mom, so I can meet him where he is and do the same. Hopefully I won’t come to regret it with a heart torn into shreds.
“Yeah, I’d like that,” I say, looking into his beautiful, earnest face.
It splits into a huge grin at my answer, and he grabs my hand to lead me into his bathroom.
We wash each other slowly in the shower, exploring each other’s bodies, making out under the warm spray. Toweling each other off is a much bigger production than it ever should be. He puts me in one of his El Abrevadero t-shirts that comes down to the middle of my thighs. After grabbing my toothbrush from the hall bath and brushing our teeth side by side, we flop into bed.
His black sheets are the incredibly soft bamboo kind, and smell like him. It’s instantly comforting. He pulls me into his chest, my head tucked underneath his chin, our legs tangled. Those inked arms of his hold me tightly, like they never want to let me go. I’ve never felt so safe and cherished in my life. His heart rate slows and his breathing evens out underneath my cheek before I drift off right along with him.
Sunlight peeks in through the crack in drawn forest green curtains as I stir in the morning, but I can’t move much. An arm is banded tightly around my waist, day old scruff tickling my forehead. The scruff moves, replaced by warm lips kissing my forehead as the arm around me pulls me even closer.
“Good morning, mi vida,” Gage sleepily rasps.
“Hey, Casanova,” I say, smiling into his warm, bare chest.
I haven’t slept so well in ages, maybe ever.
We can take our time this morning, since I have a rare day off from both the diner and the shelter. My plan is to follow up on my application for my non-profit and send out a bunch of emails to people regarding clothing donations, food donations, career services, and everything else I’ll need. Gage doesn’t have to be at the bar until later. So I stretch in his arms, press a kiss to his pec, and try to be present in this lovely moment without freaking out or getting too far into my own head.
He smooths my hair and kisses my cheek.
“Want to say screw cooking for breakfast and order in pork roll, egg, and cheese sandwiches?” he asks.
“With salt, pepper, and ketchup?” The hopeful tone of my voice is comical, because a greasy breakfast sandwich sounds incredible right now.
“Of course with salt, pepper, and ketchup, I’m not an animal,” he teases.
We loll around in bed a little more, holding each other and quietly chatting about nothing until our stomachs and other human needs can’t be ignored anymore. Gage orders the sandwiches while I get myself washed and dressed in simple denim shorts and heather grey tee.
I’m in the kitchen getting coffee goingwhen he bounds down the stairs, coming up behind me to wrap his arms around my waist and kiss my temple. It still takes me by surprise, even though I heard him coming and want him to hug me like this. He feels my muscles momentarily tense up, and lets me go immediately.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he says quietly.
I shake my head. Tears sting my eyes with frustration that I’m like this, anger at the people who made me this way, and just for fun, joy that someone is showing me genuine affection. It’s a clusterfuck of emotions.
“The affection is still something I’m getting used to, that’s all. You didn’t do anything wrong. Last night and this morning have just been a lot for my touch starved heart to process,” I manage to get out around the lump in my throat.
He tentatively squeezes my shoulder.
“Hey, it’s not going to happen overnight. Like I said, we go at your pace. I shouldn’t have come up behind you like that, it was stupid of me.”
I turn to face him and take a breath.
“Let’s start over. Hi,” I say, wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my head into his chest.
“Hey,” he murmurs, returning the hug and running a soothing hand up and down my back.
I pull back a little to look up at him.