Gage and I make idle chitchat about the bar and everyone there tonight on the way home. Home. It’s a concept that has eluded me my whole life, yet Gage has made it a very real thing in only five weeks. His place has become somewhere safe for me, where I always have the warmth and affection from him and the birds that I’ve never allowed myself to crave.
I’m already dreading the inevitable end of our arrangement. As wonderful as Gage is, almost everyone eventually leaves me. There is some broken shard in me that pokes out and drives the people who are supposed to love me and protect me the most away. Which is why I want to at least enjoy my husband while it lasts.
My phone buzzes with a text from Tania.
Nia Bia
Are we going to talk about how cozy you and Gage looked tonight?
She knows how I am, and that the way I was with himtonight is not the norm. I’ve never asked her to make art for a guy either. We’ve both been so busy that we haven’t talked nearly as much as we used to since I moved out of their apartment. I look at Gage, and he’s focused on the road. So I type out a reply.
I’m in the car now with him heading home. I’ll fill you in on everything soon, but the long and short of it is feelings are happening. He makes me happy, Nia. I’ve wanted to talk to you about it but I almost don’t want to jinx things by verbalizing it
Cece, I’m so happy for you. Take things at your pace, explore the feelings, and remember that you deserve good things. Let’s figure out a get together soon asap, please and thank you. Tonight was so much fun, btw
Absolutely. Love you, glad you had a good time
She sends a heart in response, and I put my phone away.
“Everything good?” Gage asks.
“Yup! That was Tania, just checking in and saying how much fun she had tonight.”
He smiles.
“It was amazing having her and Carlo there tonight. We need to have dinner with them soon.”
I hum my agreement before we fall silent. We’re both clearly distracted by the fact that I basically propositioned him earlier. He tentatively holds his hand out for me over the console, and I lace my fingersthrough his.
“Were you being serious earlier? About me showing you how much I appreciate you?” he asks.
“Completely serious, if you want to,” I say, squeezing his hand.
I can see his throat bob, even in the dark.
“I definitely want to, as long as you’re sure. You have complete control, ok?”
“You’re ok with that? Do you like giving up control?”
He blows out a huge breath, then chuckles almost to himself.
“Celeste, you could do whatever the hell you want to me, and I’d sit there with the dopiest smile on my face,” he says.
His words give me a rush of both the power I always need to reclaim in the bedroom, and pure lust at the thought of having this incredible man at my mercy.
When we walk into the house, and Gage turns on the light, I can see he is practically vibrating with tension. His jaw is working, fists clenched like he’s trying to restrain himself. We check on the birds and make sure they have everything they need, putting the covers on their aviaries for the night.
He wordlessly reaches back for my hand again as we head upstairs, and I grab onto it to give it another squeeze. It’s as if we both need a little extra reassurance before we take this irrevocable step. I haven’t been intimate with a soul in well over a year, and certainly never with anyone I care about as much as Gage. After three months of flirting, and five weeks of that time living together, I think I might combust if we don’t do something about this attraction of ours.
“Mine or yours?” he asks in a voice that’s pure gravel.
“Yours,” I say.
Once he leads me through his bedroom door and shuts it, we’re on each other. Our energy is a little frantic, but the kisses are soft, exploratory, and almost yearning. Our heads angle to deepen the kisses as our tongues tangle. My hands skate up underneath his shirt, feel his warm skin, lightly tug the dusting of hair on his chest. One of his hands cradles my face, while the other smooths down my back to press me closer. His erection strains against my belly, making heat gather low in my core. I walk him into the wall as I bite his lower lip, eliciting a delicious moan from him.
When we take a breath, he looks down at me with hooded, lust drunk eyes.
Carding his hand through my hair, he leans down to press a sweet kiss to my forehead.