“I’ll see you in eleven hours, ok? I love you so much, Lyra.” He kisses me on my forehead, then my lips.
“I love you, too. See you afterwards,” I tell him with a weak smile. Then I'm getting wheeled away, and I hear the nurse direct him to the proper waiting room. When I get to the OR, the first one to introduce herself is the anesthesiologist, Dr. Lyari. She starts her work getting me hooked up to the machine, and I start to shiver because the OR is so cold. Dr. Oren and Dr. Barnick come in then, trailed by a couple of nurses, and they all give quick greetings before they get right to business prepping.
“Ok, Lyra. I'm starting the anesthesia now. I need you to count backwards from ten for me, please.”
“10, 9, 8...” My voice scratches as I start to go hazy. “7, 6, 5, 4...”The four is garbled, and I don't get to three before everything goes black.
MY EYES FLUTTER A LITTLE,but don’t seem to want to open. The first thing I feel is a warm hand holding mine. Then I register the concentrated pain when I try to swallow. It's as if my throat is on fire, and a halfhearted moan makes its way through my mouth that can't fully open for some reason. The hand holding mine squeezes.
“Shhhh, you're ok, Lyra. Your surgery was a success. They took out your nasal intubation tube a little while ago once you were breathing ok on your own, but they told me your throat would still be sore. The rest of your jaw should still be completely numb, I hope.”
Taran's deep voice soothes me, and as I slowly become more aware, I take stock of things. I smell disinfectant the most strongly, followed by hearing the gentle whooshing noises and beeps of medical machines. My eyes fight to fully open, and as they do, the light makes them squint again. His words begin to sink in. I'm in the hospital. The surgery is over and it was a success. I take a breath to try and start to slowly, fully wake up as I squeeze his hand back. Warm, worried, toffee colored eyes meet mine.
“Hi, my pretty Firecracker.” He whispers it, and lifts our joined hands to kiss my knuckles. “This is probably a silly question all things considered, but how are you feeling?”
I shrug, because the pain is only in my throat, and I just feel pressure in my face from the swelling. I motion for my phone so I can type to him. He hands it to me and takes out his own.
Do I look completely different?
“You're very swollen, but you still look like you, sweetheart.”
I huff a breath. The nurse comes in then to check on me, and soon after Dr. Oren comes in.
“Lyra, you did great. Your man here hardly left the waiting room, worried he'd miss an update. There was one moment where you started to stir, but the anesthesiologist got you right back to sleep.”
“I nearly had a heart attack when I heard about that, though,” Taran mutters. “I felt so helpless just sitting and waiting.”
Dr. Oren gives him a sympathetic smile before he goes on. “Just like I figured, it took about eleven hours. You're going to be very swollen for roughly a week before it starts to really go back down. Then you'll be able to see how everything is now even and squared off.”
I nod in acknowledgement before he continues.
“The nerves in your face are so traumatized right now that you won't feel anything except mild pressure until tomorrow. Then we're going to start you on a pain medicine regimen. You've mentioned you don't want the hard stuff. If you're not comfortable with it, it doesn't have to be a narcotic, but you will at the very least need an over the counter regimen to manage it. If it gets to be too much, we'll prescribe you something stronger. Your comfort is necessary so you can rest and recover.”
I nod again. There is nothing wrong with needing narcotic level painkillers after a surgery, but I want to avoid them if I can. I've had them before and don't like how they make me feel. He goes through the rest of his reminders and tells me he'll be back to check on me in a couple of days.The next week passes in a daze, because the pain does get to the point where I need the hard stuff. There are vague impressions of my parents and younger brother briefly visiting, FaceTime with my sister's family before she flies up here, my big brother, and Gina's family so that they can see me and I can see Brody. Talking starts to get slightly easier after a few days, but I still just mostly motion, text, or write on a notepad. My work sends a big bouquet and get well card, likely coordinated by Savannah. Taran leaves a couple of times for a few hours, but is always back to say goodnight to me and either crash in my room or go back to the hotel. He's a constant source of comfort.
After the week at the hospital I’m desperate to get home. I’ll be much more comfortable there, obviously, and it’ll be nice to ditch the hospital gown. Jeanie arrives soon after Taran and I get there. The first thing I want to do is shower, since I could barely get out of bed to walk a little and stretch my legs for the past week. I feel like a filthy wretch, and my curls are a mess. Taran goes out to pick up Brody from Gina’s, but my sister is just downstairs. I turn the water on and let it heat up before I step in and relish the feeling of getting truly clean. I wash my hair, condition it, shave, scrub my face, basically the deluxe everything shower. Probably 30 minutes pass as I enjoy it all. Feeling somewhat human again is amazing. As I am finishing up though, I start to feel lightheaded. The room is spinning, and I barely manage to quickly turn off the water, step out of the shower, wrap myself up in my towel, before I feel myself start to go down. “Oh fuck,” I whisper, as everything goes black.
“TARAN!!!”
I stir to the sound of my sister screaming for him, and then feetpounding up the stairs.
“What’s wrong??” His anxious voice is practically shouting. “Shit, LYRA, is she ok??”
“I don’t know,” my sister cries. “She was in here forever and I heard the water turn off. She didn’t come out, so I came to check on her and found her in a heap on the bath mat.”
“Oh my god, LYRA, wake up, sweetheart.” I feel his hand cup my cheek, and the panic in his voice sends a jolt through me. My eyes fully open.
“I’m awake. I’m ok,” I croak, the words coming out mumbled around my jaw wiring.
“What happened, Firecracker?”
“Stood for too long in the steam. I got lightheaded. Didn’t hit anything, the bath mat cushioned my fall.”
“Jeanie, would you mind getting her some water with a straw, please?”
I hear my sister jog out of the room, and Taran cups the other side of my face with his other hand.
“You’re sure nothing is hurt? You didn’t hit your jaw on the way down?”