“Yes, she did. If you talk to the front desk you should be able to go back with her and see her. They wouldn't let me go back since I'm not immediate family, and the paperwork had to be done. I just need your help with some of this paperwork first, please. I've answered what I can.”
I help her get all of the paperwork filled out, and then go to the front desk to give it back and ask to see her. When they let me know where to go, I tell Val she should head outand that I'll keep her updated. She seems reluctant, but I insist. The woman deserves a day off after discovering my mom like that. Once we say goodbye, they direct me to one of the little curtained off spaces behind the desk and through the big doors, where a nurse is examining my mom.
“Ma.” I can barely choke out the syllable, because the adrenaline coursing through me has my throat in a vice. She looks up at me and my steps toward her falter. Her eyes are dull, her skin is visibly clammy, and her breathing is still labored. She is breathing and coherent enough to tell me, once again, that she'll be alright. The nurse is inserting one of those little oxygen tubes into her nostrils before he turns to me to fill me in.
“Hi, I'm David. Are you Mrs. Malloy's son?”
“Taran, and yes. Will she be ok?”
“We're still assessing. Aside from wanting to get her oxygen levels much higher, her vitals are fairly stable, which is good news. Her blood pressure is high too, but not at an alarming level all things considered.”
I take a little breath to calm myself down, and look at my mom. She's stable, and with the oxygen she seems to be perking up a little more.
“What are the next steps?” I ask David.
“The doctor will be coming by to do her exam and assessment as soon as she can now that Mrs. Malloy is stable. She will determine whether your mother needs to get a cardiac catheterization with a stent or undergo surgery for a bypass.”
“Is everyone just going to keep talking around me like I'm not here?” my mom says indignantly.
“Sorry, Mrs. Malloy, I just wanted to get your son filled in,” David sayssheepishly.
“Sorry, Ma. Are you feeling any better? Is the oxygen helping?” I ask as I take her hand and give it a squeeze.
“Better than I was, that's for sure,” she says a little weakly.
“The doctor will be here soon, Mrs. Malloy. You two hang tight here,” David says as he leaves, closing the curtain back around us after he does. My mom looks so scared and defeated, like having yet another health scare is the last straw for her. I squeeze her hand and she looks at me.
“Son, I'm going to drill this into your head. Don't waste time on this earth. You never know how much you might have left. I thought that was it for me this morning. No saying goodbye to you, Seth, Sienna, or my grand-babies. No traveling, or seeing you maybe find love. 68 is not that old, and yet I have wasted so much time.”
My throat is hardly able to work, and my eyes are stinging. “You got another chance, Ma. You're like a resilient cat with nine lives. Both of us will stop wasting time. Speaking of Seth, it's not even 5 am there but we need to call him. He'll be upset if we don't let him know right away now that you're situated.” I pick up the phone to call him, and he sleepily answers after three rings.
“Tar? Everything ok?”
“Hey, Seth. It's been a morning. I'm at the hospital with mom. She's stable now, but she's had a heart attack.” I can actually hear him sit bolt upright in bed, and Sienna murmur next to him asking what's wrong. They're usually not up for at least another hour.
“A heart attack? What happened? She's stable now, you said?”
“Yeah, she's doing ok. The doctor will be here soon to figure out if she needs a bypass or a stent.Val found her having obvious symptoms of a heart attack this morning right as I was on my way there.”
“Aren't you usually there before Val? What about last night, was she having any symptoms when you stopped by after work?”
“I didn't get a chance to go by, but she seemed fine when we texted.”
“Why didn't you get a chance to go by last night, what were you doing?” he asks in a tone that is way too accusatory. I give my mom's hand a squeeze and motion that I'll be back. I don't want her to hear us start fighting, and I can feel it coming.
“I was hanging out having dinner with my friend. I don't always go every single night, brother.”
“Well, if you had gone by like you should have, maybe it would have been caught earlier,” he says tightly, as if he is trying to restrain himself from yelling at me. What the fuck did I do to get him so angry?
“Seth, are you serious with this? I go by almost every day, cook for her, work with Val to make sure she has everything she needs. What more do you want from me? Why are you mad?”
“Because you ditched Ma last night when she needed you,” he says more coldly that I have heard him in a very long time.
“Soooo, what? I'm not allowed to have a life besides caring for Ma? Is that what you're telling me? If so, that is incredibly shitty considering you are NEVER here. Don't be a fucking hypocrite, Seth,” I tell him, my voice ringing with disbelief that he's being like this.
“I can't be there, so I rely on you and the lovely woman I pay handsomely to be there to make sure nothing.fucking.happens.to.her.” he says, enunciating every word through clenched teeth.
“We can't monitor her 24/7, and you know she would absolutely despise it if we could. You're being an absolute asshat right now. We got her here in time and she's stable. That lovely woman you pay handsomely saved her, and you better show her enough appreciation for it. What more do you want?” I seethe.