“Fine with me, as long as any thoughts about me are good ones,” he winks. I roll my eyes, but I appreciate him being playful about it. “When you're ready, I hope you'll let me in on what's going on in your head.”
I smile wryly, and make the decision to start things off on a candid footing, as much as it makes me feel way too vulnerable. “There’s nothing bad about you going on in my head, just thinking things through. I'm glad we're going to take it slow. I want to make sure what's going on with us is for all of the right reasons, you know? No rebounds, or shallow ego boosts on my end.”
“Aw, you consider me liking you an ego boost? I'm so flattered, Firecracker,” he teases with one of his insanely dazzling smiles. I swat at him, but I know what he's doing. He's using my trick of deflecting some of the heaviness of the conversation with teasing while still allowing me to speak truth.
“Once again, I've slipped up by saying something that's going to go to your head, haven't I?”
“Abso-freakin-lutely, and there is no taking it back now,” he says as he bumps my shoulder.
We sip our waters for a bit and watch the people before he talks again.
“The fact that you're worried about doing this for the right reasons makes me know that we are, Lyra. I'm glad you shared what you were thinking,” he says, running his hand down my back before resting it around my waist. I bump his shoulder in acknowledgement.
“Ok, can I ask you something?”
“Of course, fire away.”
“How have you never been in a serious relationship before? I'm purely curious, it's not judgmental. You're just really good at it already, and we're not even officially in a relationship at this point.”
He chuckles, but it's not his usual, lighthearted one. “My mom and dad were a good model to go on, I guess. They were so crazy about each other, always touching and playfully bickering and doing things together. He bought her flowers all of the time, she'd slip notes into his pocket before he left for work. Young me thought it was sickening, because obviously girls had cooties,” he jokes. “As for your question, nothing ever felt entirely right. It was all on me being afraid I think, to have someone and then lose them like my mom. Watching her grieve when I was 18 was harder than my own grief to some extent. I've had crushes, and casual dates, and hookups. They were wonderful women, I made sure I never treated them with anything but respect when it came to expectations. I just didn't look at them the way my dad looked at my mom, and I've never wantedanything less,” he finishes with a helpless shrug. I swallow hard.
“And me?” I can't even finish the question, but he knows what I am asking. He crowds me a little, making sure we're looking right into each other's eyes.
“I look at you the way my dad looked at my mom, Lyra.”
“How do you know that?” I ask, much more shakily than I'd like, because everything else in my entire body has gone completely haywire at his words and intensity.
“Because Carlo made sure he told me so, often, after the first night we were here,” he says simply with a wink.
“He's as bad as Gina, huh?” I say with a strained laugh, still trying to gather myself after his admission.
“You have no idea. He is very heavily invested. He was just asking about you earlier today,” he replies.
“I was wondering why my ears were burning,” I say dryly, getting a laugh out of him. “Back to what you said before...you're not afraid anymore? Of finding someone and losing them? What changed?”
He grips my waist a little tighter. “Of course I'm afraid. I bet you still are too. I just refuse to let it keep me from going for it anymore. My mom said a few things that helped get my head right recently.” Then he pinches my side playfully.
“Plus, there is this pretty awesome woman that I’m really into, she seems like she's worth the risk.” My heart goes haywire yet again.
“She sounds great, you should definitely give her a shot,” I say solemnly, nodding as I say it for emphasis while I pinch his arm back. His low laugh echoes right through me as he brings me into a bear hug, planting a kiss on my head. Oh, I could really get used to these all encompassing hugs. This amount of PDA is not something I've experiencedbefore, and it's both jarring and amazing. I have a sense of humor, but I've never been a super playful or affectionate person. My family was not the touchy feely kind of family, and that translated into any dating I did too. In fact, I'm really particular about being touched after being poked and prodded by doctors for so long, and the fact that my dad and brother have raised hands to me. That doesn't seem to apply to Taran, though, as if my body inherently knows that he's safe. I’ve always given Gina a hard time because Wayne cannot keep his hands off of her. I couldn't understand why she liked it. Now she's going to be all smug when I tell her about this. Fantastic.
For the next hour we talk about lighter topics like work, with him even showing me a couple of pictures of dogs he got to love up on his route today. We go back out and dance some more, enjoying one last set from the band. It's clear the night is winding down. We're both done drinking and eating, the band is going to stop playing soon, and it's getting a little late. What’s even more clear is that neither of us want the night to end. It's been a fantastic time, and I'm wracking my brain on how to prolong it without giving him the wrong idea by inviting him back to my place. I want that very badly, and soon, but I'm not ready for it to happen yet. Having him in my apartment late at night would be way too tempting. Taran saves me from much more internal sweating about what to do next, thank goodness.
“Want to go for a walk? There's a nice main street a couple of blocks over we can check out before I walk you to your car.”
“Sounds great, I'm still getting to know this area. I didn't move far so that I could still be near Gina and her family, but I never came over this way much before.”
So we settle up and get ready to head out. We make sure to say goodbye to Gage first, and I thank him for looking out for me. It's a little cold, but that wonderful kind of brisk that invigorates you. The sky is clear with the stars twinkling brightly above, and that incredible smell of wood smoke is in the air. Taran slings his arm around my shoulders as we get to the main street he talked about. It's already decked out for Halloween with orange and black fairy lights lining it, pumpkins everywhere, and displays in all of the windows. We pass an adorable cafe, a shop full of handmaid glassware and pottery, a jewelry shop, a clothing boutique, and a shop specializing in bath salts, bath bombs, and soaps. Since it's almost 10 a lot of them are closed, but I will absolutely be coming back here to shop properly.
“This is amazing, I love all of these mom and pop shops,” I tell him excitedly.
“The cafe has the best pastries, sometime I'll take you there for breakfast,” he tells me, pulling me closer into his side and nuzzling my hair.
“I’d love that,” I reply earnestly, leaning further into his warmth and relishing the idea of going to breakfast with him here without even thinking.
He turns me toward him and lightly cups my cheek. Then he presses another sweet kiss to the corner of my mouth. We both exhale huge breaths, the want and tension between us pulling almost too taut to bear.
“Come on, I'll walk you to your car before I do something stupid, like press you against that brick wall and kiss you senseless.”