Daisy. Snowdrop. Poppy.
Lilly.
My God… This is actually Lilly’s bucket list!
Out of nowhere, my fingers start trembling, barely able to hold the paper. It’s a piece of my history that doesn’t belong here, and yet it’s here anyway. Crumpled and worn, between Jaden’s clothes.
What does he have to do with Lilly’s dreams? Why does he have this list?
‘Because Lilly gave it to him,’ I answer my own question tonelessly, because there is no other explanation.
He knew her. But Lilly never talked about anyone he could have been. Only once did she make hints about a man she could never forget.
Is Jaden possibly Lilly’s first love? Or is there something else that connects the two of them? What role did he play in her life?
Too many questions and even more possible answers are whirling through my head.
Should I bring up this list with him? Would that change something between us? And if it would, wouldn’t it be all themore important to reveal the truth before I completely lose control over my feelings?
But hasn’t that already happened anyway? The way my heart calls out for him, the way happiness floods me when he’s with me, the way I can’t stop thinking about him, it’s already far too late, isn’t it?
I close my eyes.
Inhale.
Make the list disappear or confront Jaden with it?
Hold.
What should I do?
Exhale.
What?
Still undecided, I lift my eyelids—and see Jaden standing in the doorway, his gaze fixed on the bucket list in my hand as if it were a weapon capable of killing even superheroes.
Chapter Thirty
JADEN
Where did she get it...?
Why...?
But if...?
The closet. The shirts. Earlier I didn’t put the sheet back. To the back. Into the dark corner. Where it had been for so long.
Nyla stares at me in disbelief, her earrings trembling along with her body.
Why? She has not the slightest idea what she’s holding in her hands. Does she feel caught out?
I stare back. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say, do, think, or feel.
The door was open. When I entered the room, I wanted to ask her whether we really already wanted to go to bed together, or what other reason there was for her to take so long just to change her shirt.
Now I’m standing as if set in concrete in the doorway.