And then beyond that.
Raindrops hit her skin, gather on her brows, trace the path of her laugh lines.
In her gaze, nothing but freedom.
In my chest, pure euphoria.
I don’t care where she comes from, and I don’t ask when she’ll leave again. I don’t want to know what she means, or think about whether she’s good for me or bad for me.
She simply is there.
And that is enough to keep dancing out into the rain with Nyla, singing at the top of our lungs.
Chapter Eleven
NYLA
I don’t know where I am, what is happening, who I was, who I will be, what I dream of, what frightens me, what came last or what comes next.
I still don’t know a thing—and I couldn’t care less.
It’s because of Jaden. Because of the way he spins with me, the way he looks so content when he looks at me. Because of the feeling of safety he gives me, the passion with which he sings for us.
Because all of this feels so endlessly good right now that nothing else has room in my thoughts. We dance and laugh and I don’t need anything more.
Suddenly he lowers his gaze to my mouth and raises his hand. With his fingertips he touches my lips, and I realize that a drop has settled in the hollow above my upper lip.
He carefully brushes it away, almost tenderly, his gaze fixed on my mouth without wavering.
Is he actually thinking about…?
His fingers wander on across my face, leaving an intense tingling on my cheek, reaching my temple.
What is he doing?
Now he leans in toward me, barely noticeably.
No.
Stop.
This isn’t okay.
With a jolt, I tear myself away from him.
Out of nowhere I feel rain dripping onto my shoulders and dampness soaking through my clothes.
Then I remember. Everything just comes back. I remember why I fled outside from the ER earlier, I realize that I forgot to take care of myself and went dancing in the rain with Jaden.
Why did I do that?
I need to get myself to safety again, take a hot shower as soon as possible. And I need tea. Plus vitamin C, zinc, and ginger.
‘I should go back in,’ I force out, confused and surprised and angry with myself.
Jaden, on the other hand, is still smiling so calmly, as if he danced in the rain with strange women every day. As if that were completely normal. But something else is reflected in his eyes, disappointment maybe, I don’t know.
‘Yeah, sure.’ He hurriedly buries his hands in the pockets of his jacket while I take refuge under the awning.