Everything was fine just a moment ago. I played as if the accident had never happened!
"Pull yourself together." I clench my hands into fists, then give myself a moment to gather my thoughts. "Now is not the right time to give up," I admonish myself.
Yet I feel the weight on my shoulders.
If I can only play the easy pieces, I won't win the music award. And if I don't win the music award, then my father will triumph. Once and for all.
Breathing becomes difficult. But one thing I know for sure. No matter how much I must practice to play this piece flawlessly, I will do it.
Determined, I straighten up and make a new attempt. I master the passage, only to stumble on another one and start over again.
This continues for hours. The sun finds its way down to the horizon and disappears behind the rooftops of Vienna. Darkness engulfs the music room. Only the music lamp casts its diffuse light.
I'm tired, and my neck aches. Clearly, I have pushed myself too hard, but I can't give up. Not once have I played the piece flawlessly in the past few hours. It can't stay that way.
During a brief pause, as I massage my muscles, I mentally go through the sheet music. I visualize which keys I will strike and remember the challenging passages, intending to reduce the tempo there duringthe next attempt. It can work, even though my muscles are already exhausted.
Once again, my fingers find the keys, and I gather myself in complete silence. Then suddenly, I hear the creaking of the parquet floor behind me.
Startled, I turn around and spot Maya. Leaning against the wide frame of the double-winged door, she sits on the floor with her eyes closed.
How long has she been here? Since when has she been listening to me play? And why?
Perhaps I should simply ask her. But something holds me back. It's her expression. It's longing and filled with happiness at the same time.
Her eyelids flutter. "Don't stop," she murmurs, sounding a bit like Sophia when her bedtime story ends before she falls asleep. With a heavy heart, she opens her eyes. "I didn't mean to disturb you. I'm sorry."
"Sit with me," I say even though I don't usually like company while practicing. But right now, the feeling inside me makes it impossible to send her away.
She nibbles on her lower lip. "It would be better..."
"... it's not," I reply quickly, so she doesn't say what I don't want to hear. "Please, stay with me." I extend my hand to her.
All the little muscles around her mouth seem to relax slowly.
And there it is again. That soft expression in her eyes that makes me forget everything.
She pushes herself up from the floor. But instead of sitting next to me on the piano stool, she settles into one of the leather armchairs next to the grand piano.
I smile at her, and she nods encouragingly.Although it's difficult for me, I tear my gaze away from her and start playing. This time, very slowly, because if I'm making music for her, I can't afford to make a mistake.
The melody fills the room with its unique magic. It connects the two of us even though we're not physically close. I can feel it, even without looking at her. And when I do glance at her a little later, I notice a watery glimmer in her eyes.
She loves my music. Just like I do.
A warm feeling, stronger than anything I've ever experienced, spreads within me. It's as if she can feel it too. She stands up from her chair, and while I continue to play, she slowly approaches me.
My thoughts are no longer focused on the keys my fingers strike almost automatically. My concentration is solely on her. With each step she takes closer, I forget myself a little more. Accompanied by the melody, which I can suddenly play flawlessly, she now sits next to me on the piano stool.
Only a few inches separate us.
I keep playing. I let myself fall into the music and the warmth of her presence. At this moment, I savor every moment, every note, and every phrasing.
When the piece ends and silence descends upon us, I still feel the notes glowing within me.
"When you play, I forget the world." Maya's words are only a soft whisper yet I feel how much they mean to her.
As if in a trance, I start playing again.