“I don’t think I know how to love anyone, not the least you, Sage. You deserve more, so that’s why I’m leaving.”
“What?” She freezes at that, eyes wide but I avoid the hell outta them.
“I’m leaving. It’s been decided. I’ve asked to be transferred to The Keep. I want only the best for you, and that can only happen if I’m not here, dragging you down.”
She slowly rises from the bed, the inside of her thigh smeared with blood has me flinching as she snatches her dress up off the floor, pulling it over her head and roughly shoving it down over those curves that felt so fucking good against me.
“Is that why you asked me here tonight? To tell me all this? To tell me you’re leaving?”
I can’t look at her, I can’t even speak so I just nod, ashamed at how the night has twisted and turned.
“You know what? You’re right, I do deserve better.” She walks toward the door, opening it and I expect her to slam it, but instead she turns, raising her eyes to mine, the hurt emanating in them hits me like a punch to the gut. “I hope the Keep is everything you hope it is.”
My knees buckle as the door softly closes behind her and the heart I didn’t think I had breaks.
Valentines Day
Sage
“This came for you baby girl, I think it’s from Chef.”
My heart skips a beat as the pain comes flooding back. I’ve been lucky that since he left I haven’t had too much to do with him. Sure he was around as they were waiting for my uncles to finish prospecting, but it’s amazing how two people can pass like ships in the night. I guess it helped that I was busy with study or in Roxburgh attending my course. Or spending time with friends and trying to go on dates. In fact, I have one tomorrow night that I’m actually looking forward to. Sure he’s nothing like Takoda, but it’s high time I moved on. That’s what you do when your first love breaks your heart. You live your life, you change and grow and realize that maybe they did you a favor and you would never have worked out anyway. Or that’s what you tell yourself to make things hurt less.
Taking the pink envelope from Mama Debs I give her a little hug before quietly carrying the letter to my room. It burns in my hand and I can barely wait for the door to close before I’m tearing it open. Taking a deep breath I open the plain looking card, with a single daisy on the front and the usual “Happy Valentines Day” written in that swirly font.
There, in Takoda’s scratchy man writing are two words - I’m sorry.
Dropping the letter on my bed I cover my face with my hands, and wait for the tears that don’t come. Instead, white hot anger floods my veins. What am I supposed to do with that? He had his chance and he walked away. And that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to go on my date and enjoy it and if it's bad then I’ll laugh about it and try again, and again and again until I have the love thatChefthinks I deserve and until he’s out of my system.
One Week Ago
Sage
Ilurk in the hall, listening to everyone in Church. If I angle my head just right I can see my parents and Marx.
“OK, as you are all aware Petrov was put down by Dima, so that is one less problem to worry about. All the little girls are safe and sound, as they should be.” Marx’s voice booms and the room goes wild with everyone clapping and stomping their boots.
My hands shake a little at the memory of having to call on my training to help Aunt Vi and Joe patch up the brothers who had been hurt in the shoot out at Switch’s family ranch. Some like Tank and Dex were lucky, just a graze or a bullet to the arm. But for my brother and Chef, things were a little more serious.
Clenching my fists I stare at them. I’ve always been told that I had musician’s fingers, long, graceful. Instead they helped save lives. Well, one life in particular. Chef. My heart still races as Ithink about him on the table writhing in pain. My gut twisted at the thought of losing him, a man that didn't even want me. I bite back my growl, instead allowing my concentration to drift back to Church. One day they’ll believe I’m old enough to sit in, but today is not that day. I’m not sure when that day will be. I’m only six months younger than Niko, and while they let him prospect, they wrap me in cotton wool like I’ll break at any moment.
“On to other business, Ifinallymanaged to get a picture of Richard McDonald, Matthew Thompson’s business partner. Up until now the only information we knew was about Thompson. It seems he’s the face of the company, McDonald is the background man. And here. He. Is,” Chewy mumbles before tapping something with a flourish and a picture comes up on the screen behind her.
I angle my head a little more, trying to get a better look.
“That motherfucker,” My mom spits out and I freeze in place.
There, on the screen clear as if he was standing in front of me, is Nathaniel Mercy. The man that I’m meant to marry. Well, up until my mother decided to kill everyone at the Keep. Or maybe not, seeing his pasty, thin face is right there.
“Ah, what's going on?” Chewy asks, looking around the room.
“That’s not Richard McDonald. Or it may be, I don’t know,” Lovely stammers.
“Buttercup?” Marx asks, his hand instinctively reaching for Lovely’s. It’s such a gentle touch from such a rough man.
“That man, we know him,” Lovely finally manages to get out.
“Richard McDonald?” Rider asks, confused.