“I wasn’t that bad!”
“You were. And because I know you better than anyone, I understand it’s because you’re scared to death and don’t know how to act. But Charlie doesn’t know that. He read the cues you gave him and rightfully stayed away.” She reaches out and brushes over my forearm, giving me a soft smile. “Now, I know you don’t want to hear this, but I think you should talk to him.”
Just the thought of it makes my stomach twist. “I can’t talk to him. What am I supposed to say?”
“Tell him you’re an idiot and you want to stop playing games.”
“No. I can’t give him that kind of power. Are you crazy?”
“Being honest with him isn’t giving him power. It’s freeing yourself.”
“That doesn’t make any sense at all.”
“I’ve never seen you like this. Take the risk and go for it, Jessica.”
“No! There’s a laundry list of reasons that’s a terrible idea.”
“Like what?”
I lower my voice. “He’s Ryder’s boss and friend. He’s complicated, and I don’t want complicated. We have no future. So what? I have an affair with him, which will, of course, end awful, and then everyone will hate me.”
I don’t add the again.
She raises her blue eyes up to the heavens. “You’re scared.”
“I’m not. Besides, I’m taking a break from all that, remember? I’m focusing on my new life.”
She crosses her arms over her chest. “I think Charlie’s a great break from being so mind-numbingly bored you don’t even notice the guy you’re sleeping with is going to ask you to marry him.”
“That wasn’t my fault. I was clear. I told Travis I wasn’t interested in a relationship, over and over again.”
“That’s not the point I’m trying to make. It’s not about fault. It’s about you. Don’t you want to see what it’s like with a man who challenges you?”
“Charlie doesn’t challenge me. He won’t even look at me.”
“Oh, Jessica.” She shakes her head. “You’re so into him you can’t even string a sentence together.”
Agitated and defensive, I screech, “That’s not true. He doesn’t like me anymore.”
“You’re so busy feigning indifference, you can’t see how he looks at you.” She blows out a breath that sends her blond hair flying. “Why do you think Ryder keeps hounding him?”
Surprised interest has me cocking my head. “He does?”
“Yes! Jess, the guy looks at you like he’s one second away from ripping your clothes off.”
“No, he’s mad at me.”
“Well, yeah, and I can’t blame him. But according to the detailed account you gave of the night you spent with him, that was when he did his best work.”
That’s…true.
Oh my god, this is the worst.
I press my fingertip to my temple. “I’m so confused.”
A small smile forms on her lips. “That’s why you should talk to him. I’m being a good writer and pushing you in the direction you need to go for your character development.”
Is she right? Her words sit in my sternum as truth.