Ryder shoots me the side-eye. “How’d she take it?”
I cringe just thinking about it. “There were a lot of tears. Lots of asking if anything would change my mind. Then, when she saw that it was a lost cause, she pivoted to promising things didn’t have to change between us.”
Ryder’s expression twists. “All the things you hate.”
“Yeah. And I had to sit there and take it.”
Ryder chuckles. “It’s hard being just enough of an asshole to dig yourself a hole, but not enough of one to walk away, huh?”
“Fuck off.” The words don’t have any bite because he’s dead-on. It is a hard balance to maintain. This is why, before I moved to this town, I’d kept to myself. People understanding me doesn’t sit well.
Truth is, I spent a long time with Felicia, and in my own way, I did care about her. I broke her heart, and I regret that, but it didn’t sway me. She’d crossed an invisible line, and there had been no coming back. So I’d done what I’d needed to do, but my conscience wouldn’t let me leave without comforting her. I couldn’t ruin the fantasy she’d concocted then not help her pick up the pieces.
No matter how much I’d wanted the freedom that lay beyond her front door, I’d stayed. I’d spent hours talking to her, listening to her. I’d handed her tissues while she’d cried. Rubbed her back. Fended off her desperate pleas for one more time to show me how good it was between us. I shudder. “It was awful.”
“If it helps,” Sam says, “even though you did it in the worst way possible and didn’t end it when you should have, this is the right timeline.”
Oh no. This sounds suspiciously like a premonition. With caution, I ask, “Oh yeah?”
“It’s the catalyst for the change to come.” His words settle into my gut, making my heart beat faster than it should.
I don’t want to ask, but I’m unable to help myself. Because there’s no way he can know about the woman from last night. What would she have to do with his premonition? And why the hell am I even thinking about her?
She’s not a part of this. It doesn’t matter if I can’t shake her.
I cock a brow. “You mean for Felicia?”
He’s wearing that expression he gets, when he understands things the rest of us mere mortals don’t.
I’m holding my breath, and then I exhale slowly, like breathing is a normal part of my day.
“For both of you.” The statement lands like a gut punch.
Immediately, I think of her.
That dark, tumbling hair spread out over white sheets.
Her silvery-blue eyes flashing up at me.
Her throaty laugh as she pulled me to her.
Fuck.
I meet Sam’s gaze, and dread mixed with excitement pushes my adrenaline back into overdrive.
No. Don’t even think about her.
She has nothing to do with this.
Chapter 4
Jessica
My mom puts her bags down on the kitchen island, frowning at my position on the couch. “You haven’t moved all day?”
“It’s Saturday!” I mute the television over the fireplace, drowning out the 90 Day Fiancé marathon I’ve been mindlessly watching. It’s exactly the kind of trash I need since I’m incapable of complex thought.
I had my brains fucked right out of me.