“I called Robert Hayes, apologized for my actions, and said I’d provide training to whomever he wanted on some of my techniques as restitution. And I gave Meredith what she wanted.”
“What’s that?”
He smiles, but it’s small and doesn’t reach his eyes. “The recognition she craves. I told her father she should get the job as head of the company. I also told her I was wrong to take off the way I did. It satisfied her enough to understand I was never going to be part of the package. So she went home where she belongs, hopefully to claim her rightful place. It wasn’t much, but it was something I could do to make up for the damage I caused.”
I press my fingertips to my lips. My chest is tight, and that weight I’ve been ignoring is getting heavier. “Glad you worked it out.”
“I also went and saw my mom.” He laces his fingers between his splayed knees. “She’ll probably never remember me again, but I’m going to look into a place around here so I can go visit her a couple times a week. I might not have been the best son, but I figure I can make amends by being the person she wants me to be in this stage of her life.”
“You’ve been busy.” I don’t know what else to say. I’m glad he’s making these steps, just like I’m glad I’ve been making mine, but disappointment is like a rock in my stomach. These are things I wanted to dowithhim. Not in spite of him.
“I needed to take action before I tried to talk to you again. It’s the only way I could think of to show you I’m invested—not only in you, but in me.”
I nod. “I’m glad, but it doesn’t change anything for me. “
“I figured it wouldn’t.” He reaches into his pocket and brings out a piece of paper. He hands it to me.
I open it up, and what I see brings tears to my eyes. “Riding lessons?”
He nods. “I had ideas to buy you a horse, but then I realized that was impractical. The stables aren’t ready, and I couldn’t just start making repairs on land that doesn’t belong to me. And what if you don’t want one? I thought lessons would be a way to start, and a way to support what you’re building in your life, independent of me.”
I can’t believe it. He bought them from Shooting Stars Stable. My voice shakes. “This is so weird.”
“Why’s that?”
I look at him, really facing him for the first time. I bite my lip and fight through my tight throat. “I bought a horse. And I talked to Wyatt and Jackson the other day about how I wanted to renovate the stables.”
His expression widens in surprise, and then he laughs. “I guess it was the right gift then.”
My fingers tighten on the paper. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He looks at me. “I’m glad, Cat. I want you to be happy.”
A tear slips down my cheek. “I’m trying.”
A muscle in his jaw jumps. “I also want you to know, I’m prepared to quit if it means you’ll believe me.”
“How would that make me believe you?” I feel a swell of panic at the thought of him not being around.
And in that second, I make peace with the fact that I still want him. It just clicks in my head, and all the fight goes out of me. I’m only arguing with myself anyway.
Right or wrong, I’d rather see him every day and be miserable than not see him at all. And maybe I won’t always be miserable, because Caden and I aren’t finished. Suddenly I know that.
Not because he wasn’t wrong—because he was—but becauseI’mnot done. I don’t have to make that the end of our story.
I wonder if this is how my mom felt. As quickly as the thought enters my mind, it vanishes. That’s her narrative, not mine. I can write a new, different story.
He pushes a lock of hair from my shoulder. “If you think I love you because you come with a farm, I’ll quit the farm so I can have you. If that’s what it takes, I’ll do it.” His navy eyes are intent, and more serious than I’ve ever seen them. “I won’t hesitate for a second. If it’s a choice between you and the job, I’m going to choose youevery single time.”
Despite my fears and worries and anger, it’s happening. I’m thawing, and goddamn it, I want to believe. Just one time in my life, I want to believe without fearing something is going to reach out and snatch it away from me.
Not quite ready to fall into his open arms, I shake my head. “That’s not fair to Wyatt and Jackson.”
“I don’t give a fuck about Wyatt and Jackson.” He crooks a finger under my chin. “You, Catarina McKay, are my one and only priority, now and forever.”
My heart skips a beat. “I don’t know if I can ever trust you not to leave.”
“I know, and I hate myself for that.” He rubs a thumb along the line of my jaw. “It’s kinda a catch-22 though, you know? The only way for me to prove I won’t bail on you is for you to give me a chance to stay.”