He studies me for a long, tense moment and I want to avert my gaze but don’t. His head tilts. “I see, so you want me to tell you the truth, is that it?”
“Yes.” That’s exactly what I want, despite the tight scratchy feeling in my throat.
He sits forward and puts his elbows on the table, like he’s getting down to serious business. “Okay. Here’s the truth. Like a typical guy, until you showed up on my doorstep in those tight jeans and tank top that showed off a body I sure as hell never noticed, I wasn’t attracted to you. Is that what you want to hear?”
“At least it’s honest.” It sucks and it hurts, but it’s nothing I hadn’t known. Tears sting the corners of my eyes and I blink them away. I’ve always prided myself on facing the hard truths in life and this is no different.
At least my heart can stop getting involved in this affair.
While his gaze is intent, his expression is unreadable. “Since you’re so interested in honest, let me spell it out for you.”
Oh, I think I’ve heard more than enough, but like a masochist, I nod. “Please do.”
“I pick the women I do because they like to have fun and aren’t looking for commitment any more than I am. I don’t pick them for their personality, and I’m never going to bring them home to my mom.”
“I understand.”
“No you don’t.” Expression hard, he runs his hands through his hair before blowing out a hard breath. “I want to bring you home.”
Wait…what did he say? I blink. “What?”
He shakes his head. “The truth is I can’t get you out of my mind. I want you constantly. Hell, I can’t wait to see you. And I don’t mean the sex, which is unbelievable, I meanyou. All of you. I keep thinking about how my family will love you and how I want you to meet them. I never think that. Not since I was in high school. I don’t even know what to make of it. In fact, you scare the shit out of me, but I keep coming back for more. I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”
My jaw falls open. “Are you serious?”
Anger flashes in his dark eyes. “I am dead fucking serious, Abby.”
Heisserious. “Oh!”
“That’s it? Oh?”
“Um…” I have no idea what to say. I’m speechless. I spit out the first thing that comes to mind. “Thank you.”
He gives me a hard, long stare then barks with laughter. “What? No questions about my intentions? Don’t you want to probe into my every thought and analyze my feelings?”
I cannot wrap my head around what he’s just said or how it’s even possible. I offer a tentative smile. “If you want me to, I’m sure I can muster up a few questions.”
The chair scrapes along the planks of the hardwood as he pushes away from the table and stretches out his legs. His strong, capable hands slide into the pocket of his jeans. “What about you, Abby? Are you using me to cross the things off your list?”
How could he even think that? I shake my head vehemently. “No! Of course not. Why would you even say such a thing?”
A brow rises and he scrubs a hand over his jaw. “I thought we were being honest. When you showed up at my door, were you thinking about me as a person? Or as someone to fulfill your fantasies?”
His point is a direct bull’s eye. That’s exactly what I’d done. I’d come to use him. Because he was hot and uncomplicated. That doesn’t exactly make me a good person.
I look down at my half-eaten grilled cheese and shrug.
“So, am I just a good time?”
My head shoots up. “No, of course not. That’s insane.”
“Why?”
My head is spinning and I’m at a loss for words. I gesture at his bare chest. “Because, I’m me…and you’re you.”
The muscles in his biceps bunch, and, if possible, his jaw takes on a more stubborn line. “I don’t know what that means.”
“We hardly match.” I’m back to stating the obvious. At least that I have a handle on.