“I know what you meant,” I say as reassuringly as possible. But I feel horribly guilty. Because I’m planning to do exactly what she’s warning me against.
If it weren’t for Nana, I would be far away already, making a life for myself in any other way than what I’m doing now. And yet…I don’t regret what’s happening between Nate and me. Last night was…incredible. I can’t get it out of my head. When I was with Nate, I was a completely different person than I ever thought I’d be. So naughty and dirty and willing. Wow, was I ever willing.
It was embarrassing at first but look how fast I got over it. It’s like he knew how to coax that other side out of me, and it’s only been one lesson so far. What does that say about me? Nate isn’t exactly gentle and nurturing, but there’s something about him that I connect with. He made me feel comfortable last night, as if I really couldn’t do anything to displease him. The way he looked at me while I had him in my mouth made me feel like?—
“Are you listening to me?”
My head snaps up and I find my mom staringat me. “What?”
She tilts her head and sighs. Her trademark ‘everything is fine’ smile has been scarce today. Her face looks slightly unfamiliar without it.
“I said that I hope you take the time to find someone that you really enjoy being with, and who treats you well. You can tell a lot about a man by how he treats his mother, so bring him to meet me before you make any commitments, okay?”
She says this a little slyly, as if she knows something. Is she speaking in general, or is she being specific? Does she know about my dinner with Nate?
“If I meet someone I’m serious about, I’ll be sure to do that.”
“Have you? Met someone you’re serious about?” There it is. The suspicion and expectation in her eyes. “Is that why you don’t come home very much?”
Ha. It would help if I actually had a home to come back to. The guest house isn’t exactly a permanent residence. But that’s beside the point. Because this thing that I have with Nate isn’t a relationship. It’s a business arrangement. And it’s definitely not the kind of thing you tell your mother about.
“Look, Mom, I don’t know what you’ve heard, but—” I don’t get a chance to make my excuses, though, as the front door opens, and my father comes in.
He eyes me with a frown, and I think back to the awful phone call I had with him when I was at Cleo’s. Immediately on edge, I stiffen in my seat, anticipating more of his crude comments about me and Nate. But he turns his attention to my mom instead.
“Why aren’t you ready? I told you we have an appointment.”
Dabbing her mouth with her napkin, she sets it on her lap and sips her wine. “Oh, I’m not going. I’m having lunch with our daughter. You’re welcome to join us if you like.”
He bristles but it doesn’t hide the confusion in his eyes. He has no idea what to do with my mother’s indifference. I’m impressed. She’s actually standing up for herself.
“You have five minutes to get ready,” he barks.
“No. I won’t be getting ready, and I won’t be going anywhere with you. If you’re not going to join us, please excuse yourself. You’re interrupting our meal.”
Grinning, she picks up the plate of cookies. “Would you like one?”
My father is only a free man thanks to the bail posted by a business associate. His days outside of a prison cell are numbered and he knows it. We all know it. There’s no way he’ll walk out of his trial without a lengthy sentence.
Maybe knowing this keeps me from being afraid when his face takes on an enraged expression. My mother isn’t swayed by it, either. There’s comfort in knowing that he’s going to pay for his crimes and that soon, he’ll be out of our hair for a long time.
If only it weren’t up to me to support Nana, maybe I would have a chance of finding a man like the one my mother hopes for me. Instead, Nate is preparing me to be a trophy wife with an empty, purposeless life. Looking between my parents, I feel a sense of dread. I’m being groomed for a relationship exactly like these two have.Had.
I’m glad my mother is considering leaving my father. She deserves so much more.
We’re both looking at him. He takes a step backward, then spins and storms back out. My mother doesn’t miss a beat as she continues eating, a small, satisfied smile on her lips.
Who knew that deep down, my mother is a bad ass?
“So, Piper, tell me all about the dance studio. How are your classes going?”
I can’t remember the last time we had a conversation about what’s going on in my life. This afternoon has been full of surprises. Good surprises. It gives me hope that even when life falls apart, it can be the catalyst for things to change for the better.
And that maybe, just maybe, everything is going to be okay.
20
PIPER-LILY