“Of course I’ll be there. And I’ll wear whatever the fuck you want me to.”
Nico nods along with him. Mom would kill him if he didn’t show for me anyway. To everyone else, Mom is sweet and small. But she’s terrifying. At least to us, her boys.
And I’m very close with my brothers. But choosing Valen skips having to select which brother I need right next to me. Leo, Atlas, and Nico, even Adal and Oz, can stand there as groomsmen. But the man who helped me get through one of the worst nights of my life will hold the ring for me.
The night stretches on until I bow with the tension. It’s time.
I probably shouldn’t drive. Definitely not a bike. But I do.
Somehow, I make it to campus and convince myself it’s way too late to tell the woman I’m about to marry that…well, that I’m about to marry her.
“Fuck!” I grit my teeth and stumble toward Sorority Row, dreading every step closer to the door. I have to do this. May as well get it over with while I’m warm inside with a fuzzy head. I’ll be looser. Less careful. Lessme.
Not to mention, the girl causes me all kinds of anxiety I never had before. Worries aboutbecomingsomeone and not just performing a task. Those are different. I’m used to doing the jobs no one else wants. When I’m around her? I feel like I have to be better than that. Like that’s the bare minimum.
It’s uncomfortable. Almost choking.
Because I’ve never been anybody but a farce.
I lift my knuckle and tap onOmegaHouse door. The porch light is still on, so that’s a good sign.
The housemother greets me in a flowery silk robe, hair in curlers, and a nasty glare on her face. “It’s late.”
“I know, but I need to talk to Scout Turner. It’s urgent… I’m…Apollo Griffin?” I say it like a question.
“Hmm. The president ofDeltawants a word with young Scout.”
Her body blocks the entry, and I feel the world turning on its side. As casually as I can, I lean on the doorframe to hold myself steady.
“Fine. But you can wait out there.” She slams the door in my face, and I stumble back into a pillar on the porch.
Hands in my pockets, I take a few deep breaths, trying to calm my racing heart. My mouth is dry, though. And part ofme wonders if I’ll puke. It’s been so long since I was drunk enough to vomit. But I think I could tonight.
A movement in the corner of my eye has me looking around in the shadows.
Someone rushes by in the darkness.
“Who’s there?” I ask. But when I hurry, well, trip toward the side of the house, there’s no sign of anyone. I shake my head. I think I’m drunker than I realized.
“Yeah?”
My back stiffens at the sound of Scout’s voice. It’s always so confident and careful. Like she doesn’t believe a word anyone says, and she needs to makesurethey aren’t lying.
I can’t help but smile when I see her. Fuzzy hat on top of her head. Puffy coat. Balled-up pajama pants with what looks to be some complex equations on them. Maybe chemistry molecules or something. And bunny slippers.
“You wear glasses?” I snort. Like it’s funny. Really, it’s fuckingadorable, and I just sounded like an ass.
“Yes, sometimes I wear glasses when I’m studying. Is that a problem?”
“No. I-I just didn’t know that.” Of course I didn’t know that. I barely knowanythingabout her. Except her drive to win. And the way she makes me feel when I’m with her.
“Is this about Thursday?” she asks. “I can’t thank you enough.” Her blue eyes narrow on me as she lifts her head to take me in. She’s soshort. Tiny.
And I’m terrified.
“No. Not really.”
“What does‘not really’ mean?”