I lie my head on his shoulder and inhale his scent. It’s quiet out here, there's no traffic, only the occasional sound of animals in the forest scampering about.
Kill and Carter move closer as I sigh a sound of contentment. Turning around on his lap, I reach out and they both take one of my hands.
Killian clears his throat, his eyes slightly fearful as if he’s afraid of upsetting me.
“We can have the marks covered up. Have you ever thought about getting a tattoo? Maybe something meaningful?”
I nod and wipe the tears falling down my cheek.
“I think the physical reminder is why I can’t move forward. I’m stuck. Can I see yours?”
Killian reaches behind his head and pulls his shirt off and moves closer. I run my fingers over the purple petals before tracing the letters of the words above it.
Living without you is my punishment.
“Will you get this covered up now?”
“No.” He says one word, but there’s so much pain in the tone of his voice.
“Pretending history doesn’t exist is dangerous. The way we don’t repeat mistakes is by remembering and honoring the past. As painful as it is, I don't want to forget what I did to you before. It serves as an important reminder of everything I almost lost.”
I don’t want him to torture himself with those memories, but I understand, and have to respect his choices.
“I want three roses on my stomach. One for each of you. I’m not sure about what to put on my ass.”
It’s unbelievable that I even have to do this. As I sit here thinking about what has been done to me, the fury grows again. I glance over at the tree holding Grave in place, and I know I said I wanted to wait until morning, but I can’t.
“I’m ready for round two.”
“No.” Killian says and I tilt my head at him in response.
“No?”
He shakes his head and flashes me a stern glare, leaving no room for argument.
“No. You need sleep first. This man is the first of many, and it’s important that you are taking care of yourself and getting adequate rest.”
I want to argue with him, but I know he’s right.
“Carter, wake Knox up in three hours. Knox, wake me up three hours after that.”
Knox strokes his hand through my hair as I feel his heartbeat against my skin. It’s soothing and lulls me into sleep.
Three hours later, when Knox wakes, I crawl into Carter's arms. He kisses the side of my head and tightens his arms around my back. I never want to be away from them again. Not even for a single night. The warmth of my men, the sound of their gentle breaths, it all makes me feel so safe. Knox stares at me, only a few feet away, his gaze is warm yet stern.
“Go back to sleep, Tesoro.”
My eyelashes flutter as I close my eyes, knowing when I wake they’ll still be here.
Watching me.
Protecting me.
And loving me.
Chapter Nineteen
KILLIAN