“Then be too much. Be the unhinged and beautiful chaos that you are, Jade.” I held her close—enough to feel the heat of her body, to see the goosebumps rise on her skin. Close enough to hear my own downfall.
“You’re the one thing I can’t control. The one thing I can’t take, andfuck,Jade…I can’t make you do anything.” My grip on her tightened, the same way as my vocal cords. “And you have no fucking clue,” I confessed, my voice broken. “You have no idea what you’ve done to me.”
Jade breathed fast, clutching the collar of my shirt. “I’m hard to be around. And I’m picky. With food and other stuff.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’ll cook anything you want, baby. I’ll memorize all your preferences. I’ll get you all the whole milk, lavender goat cheese concoctions you desire.”
Jade giggled, her eyes filling with tears, just like mine. I wasn’t going to let her go. I was never going tolet her go.
“I need time,” she whispered slowly, her saddened eyes meeting mine once more.
“Take it. We don’t have to rush.”
Our foreheads touched, the electric shock frying the last of my brain cells.
“I-I’m sensitive.” Her palm flattened against my chest—pressed into me like she was trying to see if my heartbeat matched hers.
“I know…how to be gentle.”
Thunder shook the skies somewhere behind her and the wind picked up, but I was going to say it. I was going to tell her.
“Jade, I’m…I’m in lov—”
Her fingers clasped over my lips, the fear in her eyes ripping my heart out. “No, no!” She shook her head quickly. “Don’t say it, don’t say the word because it won’t heal me, Alex, it won’t! I-I just feel so…broken.”
And her tears burst out of her, like she finally gave herself the permission. I wrapped her in my arms tighter, wanting to absorb all her pain.
“You can keep all the pieces in my hands. I’ll hold you. Give you all the space.” Jade sniffled against me, the scent of her hair smelling like home. Like something ofmine.“I’m right here and I want to…I want to protect you, baby. From everything you’re scared of.”
Her body molded under my touch and she sat up, her dainty fingers grazing my cheek.
“Promise?”
Jade breathed fast, her gaze jumping from my eyes to my lips, to her lap.Ourlap. I nodded slowly, giving her the only two words I could manage.
“I promise.”
The wind whipped at us from all directions, Jade’s untamed hair creating a secret barrier between us and the world.
“The thing is, Alex…” She bit her lip, choosing her words. “Sometimes I’m in so much pain that I can’t—I can’t drag you into it.”
“Tell me where, Jade,” I whispered in her ear, taking a lungful of her magical scent. “Tell me where it hurts and I’ll take it all away. I’ll kiss it better, baby.Just don’t pretend that you’re too broken forthis.For…us.”
Slowly, Jade pulled back, a tiny smile shining in her wet eyes. “You’ll kiss it better?” she whispered curiously.
“Yes,fuck, Jade. I’ll lick all your wounds. I’ll kiss all your scars. Just let me. Just let me, Malyshka.”
“What does Malyshka really mean?” Her finger brushed my eyebrow, the tiny action burning my skin. My hand slid from her back, over her hip, finding her hand.
“Baby. It means baby.”
She breathed faster, her attention falling to our joined hands. “It hurts here.” She pointed to her wrist, right where my fingers rested. My lips zinged when I tasted her there.
Sweet. Tender.
Heaven.
“And—and here.” Jade’s finger pressed into her right shoulder, and I lunged for it immediately, a wish suddenly fulfilled. Her shoulders were made for my kisses. I lingered, leaving delicate pecks on her skin. Then butterfly smooches. And then hungry plunges into the immaculate curve of her shoulder.