“Just transporting goods,” I finally said. “But it’s a little more top secret. That’s why they pay more.”
Leaning closer to him, I lowered my voice as if we were sharing a secret meant only for the two of us.
“Good thing is… if everything works out, I’ll be able to give you the gift of all gifts way sooner than expected.”
His curiosity instantly took over. “And what is that?”
I grinned. “It’s top secret… just like the job.”
He studied me intently for a second, his brow furrowing in thought before a deep sigh escaped his lips—the complete opposite of the reaction I had expected.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, worry creeping into my voice.
“Jo, I know you have to work… but I don’t like you working so hard,” he confessed, his small voice trembling as if the weight of my responsibilities pressed down on him too. “Isn’t all that workbad for your health?” he added, sincere concern etched on his young face.
What I really wanted to say was,Yeah, it is.
I wanted to tell him that I was terrified, that I had no idea what kind of mess I was stepping into tonight, and that every decision I made lately felt like a gamble. But Kyrin didn’t need to carry that weight, so I swallowed it.
"It is, sport,” I answered softly, my heart swelling at his worry. “But bills don’t care if you’re tired, responsibilities don’t pause just because life gets heavy, and the world definitely doesn’t slow down just because you’re doing your best.”
He listened quietly, absorbing my words with the seriousness only a child can muster.
“This is just temporary,” I continued, my voice steady but thick with emotion. “I only took this job so we can have a better life.”
The sincerity of my voice wavered, and I hated that he could probably hear it crack.
“More importantly,” I nudged his shoulder, “a better life for you.”
He looked up at me then, his deep brown eyes searching mine for reassurance.
“Kyrin… I need you to understand something.”
I paused, making sure he heard me clearly.
“Everything I do is for you… alwaysyou.”
His eyes softened, but he didn’t say anything right away.
“I love you so much,” I continued, my voice cracking despite trying to keep it steady. “You’re the reason I keep pushing… even when I’m tired… even when I’m scared. And no matter what happens, I’m never going to stop fighting for you.”
I leaned in, kissing his forehead tenderly, then his cheek, and finally the tip of his nose, each gentle peck a promise of my unwavering love.
Kyrin laughed, trying to squirm away in mock protest, but I caught his face in my hands, planting another kiss on his cheek.
“Okaaaaaay. Enough with the kisses already,” he groaned, laughing for real now.
“Get used to them,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him playfully. “Because I’m going to keep kissing you as long as you’re here, trying to stop me.”
We stayed like that for another minute, just smiling and soaking in the moment, a little island of happiness in the chaos of our lives. Then I stood and tucked the blanket securely around him, making sure he was warm and cozy.
“Mama’s going to be here with you while I’m out, okay? You be good. I’ll be back later. Bedtime is in an hour, and don’t even think about hopping back on that game tonight.” I pointed at him firmly, trying to maintain a façade of authority.
“Ahh, man!” he groaned, disappointment creeping back into his tone. “Yeah… because I know you,” I laughed, grateful for the lightness in the moment. “But I love you.”
He nodded, his attention already drifting back toward the TV. “Love you, Jo.”
I walked out before he could see my face, because if I stayed another second, I might’ve cried right there in front of him, unable to bear the thought of him worrying about me. Instead, I made it to the bathroom, quietly shutting the door behind me, and leaned against it as the weight of the day crashed over me. And then, the cry I had been holding in for days… maybe weeks… maybe even longer than that erupted from my chest like a dam breaking loose. I covered my mouth with both hands, stifling the sound, my shoulders shaking as if everything I’d been carrying finally spilled out.