“But that’s my name…” she voices, almost confused.
“And I am yours.”
Last night wrecked me in all the right ways. I spent hours after she fell asleep in my arms, questioning what I am about to do today.
I don’t know what time it is. Morning, maybe? Might as well be noon. The light leaking in through the hotel curtains looks too soft to be early, but honestly, I am just trying to buy time. It may be the last time I get to hold her.
Because she’s still here. Sleeping. Her spine curls in and one leg drapes over the sheets, while I sit at the edge of the bed, letting a cigarette burn down between my fingers.
I should be used to this feeling—wanting something I might destroy.
But when she turns over and reaches for my side of the bed like she’s done it a thousand times before, something inside me shatters. She’s looking for me, even asleep, all while I’m about to destroy her. My little ember, my Victoria, the most important person alive. But the plan is already in motion, I should receive the signal any minute now, and there is nothing I could do, even if I wanted to.
She’ll hate me, but she needs to do so. Otherwise, she’ll never be able to love. The chances of someone accepting the deal with the devil I’m about to propose are low, even for my little ember, and she’ll probably run away. Fuck, sheshouldrun away if evena tiny bit of normalcy runs through her veins, but judging by how twisted her brain is, she might actually follow through.
She’ll get her final task, Step 3, and she might actually finish the experiment. But instead of becoming my useless pawn, she’ll get me and my absolute devotion for life.
I put the cigarette out and climb back into bed. Not to fuck her this time—though my body is already screaming for it—but to just lie there with her. Skin to skin. Heartbeat to heartbeat. One last moment of silence before hell is summoned to earth.
“Azrael?” she whispers half asleep.
“I’m here.”For now.
“I thought you left.”
I kiss her shoulder. “Never.”
What she doesn’t know is thatneveris just moments away.
When the first message lights up my phone, I silently leave the room. There is no turning back from this. For the first time in my life, I’m afraid I might fail.
CHAPTER 30
VICTORIA
Iwake up confused. Something feels wrong.
Azraelshould beon the other side of the bed, but he’s not, nor is he in the room at all. I try calling him once, twice, then ten more times just to make sure he’s actually not picking up. And no, he is not. Each of my calls is directed to his voicemail, asking me to tell him something. Well, I think he’s the one who needs to tell me things.
Once it becomes clear that he is not going to pick up, I do what any sane person would do: I search for him throughout the entire hotel. Hotel lobby. Hallways. Side entrance. I even check the bar, hoping maybe he needed a drink to swallow down that disgusting wine in the minibar.
But Azrael is nowhere, gone, like he never fucking existed.
I stand in the center of the lobby looking like an idiot, feeling my wild heartbeat in my throat. He has left me.
One second he was next to me, and the next,poof, he’s gone. I might as well just have imagined all that happened last night.
But I didn’t. I couldn’t have. I know what I saw in his eyes: hunger and need and devotion—everything that he is willing to give me freely. But if he’s that devoted, where is he now?
I grab my phone with shaking hands and dial Alex. It hurts me to admit it, but he is the only one who can help find things when I need them. And right now I need the Professor more than I need air in my lungs. He picks up halfway through the first ring.
“He’s gone,” I snap. “He left. He’s not here. Track him. Now.”
The fact he’s not replying is enough to earn him a ticket straight to hell.
“Victoria—what the hell is going on?”
“Don’t act clueless.” I’m pacing now, my voice barely holding steady. “Don’t think I don’t know this was you. You gave him my plan. You told him where I was.”