“I have to say, this was quite the surprise,” Judy chimes in with judgy innuendo, indicating that no one had the privilege of knowing a wedding of any kind was to be expected around here. “I’ve been dying to hear the story of how you two crazy kids got together!”
And there it is again—judgment disguised in the wordcrazy.
I give a noncommittal shrug. “It happened pretty fast, as I’m sure you’ve gathered.”
“I guess so,” she retorts. “No time to even get rings.” Her gaze darts to my hand and then back up and bounces between Wolf and me with some kind of admonishment.
“And when are we going to hear about babies?” Sharon from the library magically appears between the other two, her blue eyes wide and dazzling.
Wolf squeezes my hand again, and I squeeze right back. The other town biddies are still leaned in close, no longer whispering but instead watching us with expectant expressions. Wolf is still silent but otherwise doesn’t seem nearly as uneasy as he did a moment ago. Still, I don’t like seeing this normally bold and confident man being placed into a weak moment, and suddenly, I’m hyper focused on getting him out of it.
Looking around like an idea might present itself, I notice a white chair near the table and make a snap decision. After pulling it out in front of me, I look up at Wolf and place a hand on his shoulder. “Help?” I request softly.
He places the hand holding the water bottle on my waist while the other hand still grips mine. Supporting my weight, Wolf looks curious as I step onto the chair, which places me at a noticeable height above everyone.
“Excuse me!” I call out into the subtly festive atmosphere, trying to ignore the pounding of my heart in my ears as so manyheads swivel to take me in. “I know you’re all curious about how this,” I wave between Wolf and me, “happened, especially so fast. All I can say is it was fast for us too, and we got married privately, so as not to have to give a press conference.” I look around, trying for serious but not threatening or ungrateful. “Not that we don’t appreciate all this—it’s quite beautiful.” I gesture at our current setting because despite the circumstances, it truly is lovely. “But we’d really appreciate some time to process everything ourselves, so if you could focus on celebrating with us for now, it would mean so much. Thank you again.”
I dip my chin and turn toward Wolf to signify to everyone I’m finished.
Wolf steps up to the chair, his head tilted back at me as his dark mossy greens seem to be taking in something they’ve never seen there before. Eyes still on me, he brings his hands up to either side of my waist. And with seeming ease, he lowers me down, stopping when my gaze rests just a breath above his. His eyelids lower to half-mast as his lips press against mine.
The kiss is light, soft. Kind of like the one he gave me in the judge’s chambers only this time it lingers a little longer, and no one is instructing him to do it. No glasses are clinking. Wolf is doing this because he decided to. Whether it’s from genuine desire or just for show, that knowledge sends a ball of light pinging through my insides. A few people clap as Wolf lowers me the rest of the way to the floor and lets our lips drift apart naturally.
For the rest of the afternoon, very few people talk to us, and if they do, it’s only brief congratulations. Wolf’s brothers and his uncle stay rather close the rest of the time, which changes Wolf. It’s like looking through a window into a world where he’s at ease, moving and speaking naturally. It’s almost spiritual to witness, like when you see an animal in the wild, in its natural habitat, doing what it’s supposed to be doing, and you’re at thepart where you wonder just how close you can get to it. And realizing that youwantto.
Shit. I want to.
15
MOLLY
The sun has just barely set by the time we’re on our way back home. With the familiarity of his home and his family disappearing in the rearview, it’s just us again, the headlights laying out the road before us.
“You okay?” I ask.
He nods firmly, the green glow of the dash lights showing the set of his eyes and the press of his jaw. Several moments pass us by with nothing but the din of road noise for company before he speaks. “Do you want babies?”
I jolt slightly, not just at the sudden break of silence but the question he broke it with. I’m slowly starting to learn that when Wolf chooses to converse he’s incredibly direct.
“Um, uh… I don’t know,” I say honestly when I find my words. “I seriously don’t know yet. Why? Do you?”
He stares straight ahead for a moment, and it’s hard to read him with the cab’s meager lighting. “I don’t know,” he finally answers, his voice barely audible over the road noise. “Guess that’s another thing to figure out down the road.”
An aftershock of the first jolt shakes my foundation again. Whether we start a family or not, just the fact he’s referring to a future has my limbs tingling and my stomach swooping. “Yeah.” My voice quavers, and I hope he doesn’t notice.
Another quarter mile or so disappears behind us before he speaks again. “Should we… Are you…?” The right words seem to elude him as he listlessly shakes his head. He lifts his hand from where it was resting on the seat beside him, a gesture for me to help him out.
I ponder for a moment what he might be trying to say. “Um…”
“Are we safe?”
It clicks. “Yes,” I affirm clearly. “I take the pill.”
Another nod from him—seemingly he’s satisfied—but my stomach is on a fucking rollercoaster the rest of the drive. I once again reflect on what he said the day I accepted this proposal. He’s “more than okay with it.” The part of me that wants to protect my feelings still firmly believes he said that to smooth the whole thing over. But those words also planted a small seed of hope, and I’ve been doing my best to believe it would not grow into anything. But the events of just a few hours ago have me so confused.
Turning the lock, I let us into the dark and silent house. Wolf closes the door and locks it as I flip on the light that illuminates the foyer, and then neither of us moves.
I hold Mima’s borrowed clutch in my hands while Wolf shoves his hands in his pockets, as if we’ve arrived and intend on venturing no further into the house.