My head falls back as I just feel.
This is epic.
“Here,” says El, and when I bring my head back up, I see her wipe with her finger over the rest of the cocaine on the table. She turns to me.
“Open your mouth.”
I look at her, slightly perplexed.
She holds her middle finger with the white powder up for me to see.
I open my mouth without thinking.
She leans in on me, and her finger enters my mouth as she brushes it over my gums above my front teeth.
The bitter taste appears, and my upper teeth and gums become numb.
She looks at me with her head slightly tilted as she doesn’t remove her finger but pushes it in my mouth and plays with my tongue.
Suddenly, she is so close.
So close that I can see every one of her non-existent pores, because she has silk-like skin from heaven.
Her perfectly shaped and trimmed eyebrows.
The long lashes.
The lips.
My chest starts heaving up and down.
“Suck it,” she says.
And I do. Not without blushing first, because I have no, abso-fucking-lutely no experience with women at all, and I get nervous. Nervous like a thirteen-year-old girl.
I mean, I had sex with boys in the past, exactly three times, because it was part of my job, pretending to be something I am not. But I always knew I was not interested in boys in any way. I hate men. They disgust me. And now, finally being with a woman, I am lost.
So, I do as she says.
I close my lips around her finger and suck. I move my head up and down, trail with my tongue around it, and suck slightly.
I have no idea what I am doing here, but it is somehow strangely erotic. I glance at her, into those mesmerizing blue eyes, trying to figure out if what I do is what she wanted.
She gulps down her glass as if it weren’t a bottle of champagne that costs $800, while she watches me intensely.
She places the empty glass, and when she comes back, she removes her hand from my mouth and grasps my face. Before I can do anything, her lips are on mine. Soft, yet demanding.
An explosion of desire rushes through me. Not only because of her. Because of everything.
I am free.
Free to do whatever I want.
No strings attached.
Just a hot girl and the chance to finally be me.
To find out who I really am.