Not one shred of me expected this night to go well. This would be nothing short of a shitshow, and I had no doubt my mood would plummet rapidly. I had this moment and only a few minutes more to elevate my disposition as high as possible before it took a nosedive.
I didn’t take it, though. I didn’t deserve it. I’d knowingly and willingly gone along with this dumb idea to dateAshley, and it got me exactly where I expected. Why shouldn’t it?
Deceptions. Lies. Scams. They could only last so long until the truth was found out.
I stole glances at Asher’s beauty, trying like hell to let it fill me as it normally would. His makeup was light and yet bold. I didn’t mind kissing his lipstick-stained mouth, knowing they were his and not one of the women I had forced myself to date.
He didn’t comment as the city lights faded. He didn’t ask where we were going. He didn’t ask anything. I hated it. I’d done this to him, killed his innate liveliness.
When I pulled into the turn lane to wait for an opening in traffic, I reached for his hand. He startled at the touch, not expecting it since I was being that much of an ass, apparently. He turned to face me and smiled softly.
“Hey,” I said. “You look beautiful, as always.”
“Thank you.”
I turned into my parents’ neighborhood. The gates were closed, so I made for the lane to use my code to enter, bypassing the guard’s station.
“Fancy,” Asher whispered.
I snorted. “Yes, obnoxiously so.”
The houses nearer the entrance were smaller mini mansions, most still lit with Christmas lights.
Asher gasped and pointed. I couldn’t tell if it was the size of the homes or the decorations that made him smile, but with each one, I relaxed.
Asher. The one to seduce me, my playboy and much younger boyfriend, had a lot to teach me about life.
Though we both dreaded this dinner, he found every spot of joy, no matter how small.
I’d never thought of myself as privileged in a negative way, but seeing him so open about life and new experiences made me wonder just how much I had shied away from because of that very reason.
I was private school educated. My friends were selected from other boys with families of a certain class. I’d never struggled, never had to deal with public settings with varied demographics. My entire life had been limited. Had any of those limitations made me smile as Asher did now?
Before we ventured deeper into the neighborhood, I stopped in front of a random house.
Asher turned to me. “Is this it?”
“No.”
When I moved closer, he reacted, doing the same. God, I loved that. I loved how he read me. I loved how he gave of himself as if he knew exactly how much I needed to take in any given moment. I touched his slim neck with my fingertips, then carded them through the soft hair at the back of his head.
“Thank you seems moderately lacking for tonight, but I’ll start with it.” He glanced away, and a coy smile played on his lips. He didn’t say anything, letting me take my time, and after a grounding inhale of his sweet, sugar cookie scent, I said, “Thank you for doing this. Thank you for being open and supportive. This must be abhorrent, the pretending, the putting up with my closeted ass, but thank you for doing it.”
Asher dipped his chin and shrugged, but the gesture was halfhearted at best, a push for nonchalance. “Momma told me to save the best for last. You know, like, eat the foods I hated first and save the best for last. Do my homework first and save the best part of the weekend for last, things like that. But then I had a cousin doing just that. Stetson. Honestly, that was his name.”
I grinned and said nothing. Of course he had a cousin who’d taught him something he now lived by, and I wasn’t about to interrupt. I would never interrupt, because he always had a purpose.
“Stetson was one of the few in my family that broke out of the mold. He got a good job while he was down on the coast with an oil company. He banked everything he made, had a hefty nest egg. Never married, never had kids, and never bought a house. On holidays, he joked that he was saving his best life for last. He was on his way too, but he never made it. All that savin’ he’d done didn’t help at all when some drunk ran a red light.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
Asher waved it away as he usually did. “Momma is a wealth of insights, but in this one, I’ve taken my own approach.” Asher smoothed his hand over my cheek. “I like to sprinkle the bestin with the life I’m makin’, livin’ my best life now, because tomorrow is never guaranteed.”
Asher thumbed over my lower lip, and I kissed the pad while his smile grew.
“I don’t mind doin’ this for you. Yeah, your family ain’t gonna like me”—he laid the accent on thick—“but I get to sprinkle you in with it. The best part in all this is you.”
Every moment we spent together deepened the emotions surrounding him. Awe, surprise, and yes, love. Asher was the most impressive person I’d ever met. I wanted to keep him. Forever.