I had to say something to the marshals guarding us about the baby. It was still just me and my mom in a remote cabin in the Rockies. I had no idea where my father was.
The look on the agent’s face would stay with me forever when I told him I needed to get to a doctor, and why.
I’d been gutted when he’d sat me down and explained everything. There was no way for me to get in touch with Garret without putting not only my mom and me in danger, but also the life of my baby.
It seemed there weren’t a lot of options for me to choose from. As much as I wanted to keep this baby, the last link I had to Garret, I knew that was selfish. I could be on the run for years, or we could be killed at any moment if the mob caught up with us and decided to use us as leverage against my dad. I was under no illusions that my dad wouldn’t sacrifice us in a heartbeat to save his own skin.
So with the help of the marshals, we found a lovely couple in their late forties.
I gave birth to a little girl, and my heart broke again in a way I never thought I’d recover from when I handed her over. Her adoptive mother was a lovely woman, and she’d held me tight when I’d broken down, wrapping her arms around me and holding me close. “We’ll take good care of her, I promise. She’ll be loved. One day you’ll meet again. We’ll tell her about you.”
That had made me cry even harder, and I’d clung to Hannah Gilbert, who’d held me until I stopped.
“We have to go, Angel,” Marshal Jake reminds me. I could hear the sympathy in his tone.
“I know,” I reply, stepping back and looking into Hannah’s kind brown eyes. “Can I ask you a favour?”
“Of course,” she says, holding onto my hands. I try not to look at the pink-wrapped bundle her husband is holding, but my eyes are drawn to her. Finally, I tear my gaze away and look back at Hannah.
“Will you name her Honor? Her father and I always said if we’d had a little girl, we’d name her Honor. Honor Hannah is a beautiful name, don’t you think?”
Hannah cups my cheeks, and her eyes fill with tears. “It is and thank you for the beautiful gift you’ve given us.”
I press my lips together tightly and nod once. With tears streaming down my face, I turn away and walk towards the marshals waiting for me. Jake wraps his arm around my shoulder, holding me to his side as I sob. Finally, he picks me up and walks with me to the vehicle.
I’m not sure how I got through those first few months. They pass by in a haze until eventually Jake has enough. He’s been with us from the start and has a family of his own. He often mentions how much he misses them while he’s watching us. One morning he wakes me up at six and tells me to get dressed. We’re going for a run.
‘A run?’ I think to myself. ‘Why the hell not, I’ve got nothing better to do.’
That’s the start. Every morning we run, then he moves me on to defence moves, and finally how to shoot a handgun.
“You never know when you’ll need to protect yourself, Angel. Especially with your dad’s problems. I’m going to make sure you have the best chance that I can give you of you surviving.”
And he did. For the years we’re in protective custody, I trained with him and the other agents. They became my surrogate family. I still thought about Honor every day, but I know in my gut that Hannah and Fred will look after her and make sure she’s loved and cared for.
We’re moved a few times over the years, and it gets easier each time. Five years after we were picked up, we get told that my dad had been found and killed.
The marshals are still worried about my mom and me. My mom hasn’t been well, and I’m not sure if she’s going to make the year. We stay in custody while the Marshals clean up loose ends pertaining to my dad’s case.
My mom doesn’t last a year after my dad is killed. It hits me then that I’m all alone.
***
I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve been running and training for so long that it’s all I’m used to. It’s not the life I imagined. Honor is five and when Jake last checked on her, she was happy. Garret seems to have disappeared, and I’m notsure if I should attempt to look for him or not with the threat of death hanging over my head.
Once again, Jake comes through. “You’ll come home with me for now. We’ll get you an ID showing you’re my niece, Fiona Monde. You’ll find your way, Angel. I promise you. You’re one of the strongest girls I’ve come across in a long time. Come on, my wife is waiting for me to bring my work home.” He grins at me.
I throw my arms around the burly man who's been more of a father to me in the last years than mine was the entire time I lived with him. “Thank you, Jake. I’ll do it, but only if it’s safe for you and your family.”
He presses a kiss to the top of my head, “It is, Angel … shit, Fi. That’s going to take some getting used to. They don’t seem to be looking for you, but I’d rather be safe than sorry, and you’ve become like another daughter. So, what do you say? Are you ready to come home? My wife has cleaned the room over the garage, so you’ll have some privacy.”
“I’ll come home with you, Jake.” I smile up at him.
“Good girl,” he replies, picking up one of my bags and slinging it over his shoulder. I pick up the other, following him out the door to a new life. I hope that it will be the last one for a while.
Turns out it’s the best thing that I ever did.
Jake’s wife is not what I’m expecting. Fern is a hippie through and through. She’s tall and willowy with long dark hair shot through with silver, kind blue eyes, and is covered in freckles from all the time she spends in her gardens. Crystals, stars, herbs, and recycling are all things she is passionate about.